


due settimane

by withtwoships



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Famous/Not famous, Fluff, Italy, M/M, One direction AU, Summer Holiday, famous Harry/not famous Louis, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-06-22 19:28:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 36,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15589083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withtwoships/pseuds/withtwoships
Summary: the summer of 2018 meant a lot of things to Harry Styles. one: he spent two weeks in one of the most beautiful towns in the world. two: he may have accidentally set his best friend up with his personal assistant (to be confirmed). three: he got a new tattoo. four: the tattoo was inspired by Louis Tomlinson. five: Louis Tomlinson is gay. and extremely beautiful. six: Harry Styles cannot be gay. seven: Harry Styles is definitely gay.





	1. prologo

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh I am so excited to be writing this!!! ever since I saw the pictures of Harry in Modena, Italy, I knew I had to write something super fluffy and angsty about my favourite boys in Italy. I hope that I'll be able to update every week, or at least get ahead so I can post things weekly even if I can't write.
> 
> I really do appreciate all feedback, and if you wanna talk to me about things, my tumblr is: harry20gayteen (feel free to message or ask me whatever!)
> 
> get ready for pining, cute times, Italian romance, and Zayn pissing Liam off to no end!

_......_

 

_Poetic justice._ The term had been thrown about in Harry’s life, but he had been young, and he didn’t think that something as pretentious as _poetic justice_ would have an impact on his seemingly wild life. But there he was, a golden sunset framing the silhouette of the plane, flying to a place that he had seared in his memory. Doncaster.

“Harry?”

Harry turned, his best friend and assistant watching him with nervous looks on their faces. He tilted his lips upwards, his signature smirk that was readily plastered across newspapers and online gossip sites around the world. It readily hid anything that he was feeling, and he wasn’t in the mood to discuss his new all-consuming reason for smiling leaving the country.

“Let’s head back, I probably need to prepare for the wedding tomorrow.” He managed to reply. Liam and Zayn nodded in unison (they had been doing that a lot lately, the mirroring) and Harry felt sick; that after all this time he ended up alone, that tomorrow he would put on a lavish suit with all the frills that he could ask for, and he would be asked about who the next lucky girl was –

Airport security escorted them discretely to where their car was parked. Harry didn’t bother to try and register the murmurs of Italian the security was speaking: he had learnt some in the various trips across his career, delighted that he was able to make small talk with the locals as he learnt more, and even more delighted at understanding others.

Harry was a performer, but he knew how to be discrete when he wanted to be, and he loved to listen.

He couldn’t bear to say a word as Liam and Zayn murmured to each other, wanting to be back at the villa where the memories were the strongest. He closed the door, and saw Zayn brushing his fingertips against Liam’s shoulder as he walked to the driver’s side. Liam slid in beside Harry, avoiding the pointed look Harry was giving him.

“To the villa, then?” Zayn said, catching Harry’s eye in the rear-view mirror.

“Please.” Harry said quietly. He could feel Liam’s eyes on him, and he turned to watch the ever-changing view outside his window. It would be a long couple of hours until they returned to the villa that he and Zayn had picked before they arrived in Italy. It had been a rushed decision, Harry wanting to leave before any contractual obligations were set, and Zayn unable to watch his best friend suffer any longer. Action had needed to be taken.

Zayn turned the car radio on, and some boppy Italian song that Harry had never heard before arriving filled the car. Liam was singing along quietly, fumbling through some of the words but looking happy nonetheless. Zayn hummed as he drove, and Harry tried to listen to the lyrics, tried to understand what the artist was trying to say.

“Have you written the speech for tomorrow?” Zayn asked, eyes focused on the road as the last of the light began to bleed from the sky.

Harry sighed. “No. Maybe I can bullshit it.”

“No way, there’s going to be reporters –” Liam started, his assistant voice immediately coming to the surface.

“Reporters at a wedding? Fucked.” Zayn muttered. Harry saw Liam turn red.

“I can say genuine and kind words, probably even better if they’re not scripted.” Harry smiled at Liam, clasping his shoulder, however awkward it was to do in a car. “You’re not going to get in trouble Liam. If there’s one person that’s not going to cop shit from Andrew, it’s you.”

Liam bit his lip, the worried look not leaving his face. “It’s not me I’m worried about.”

Zayn laughed. “If there is someone on this planet that can take care of themselves, it’s Harry Styles.”

Liam rolled his eyes. “He doesn’t have to do it alone just because he _can,_ Zayn.”

“No need to get so feisty, love.” Zayn cooed, Harry catching the wink that he gave Liam over his shoulder.

Harry smiled and looked out the window; Zayn always understood people’s weak spots, and he knew that Liam’s weak spot was Zayn himself. It was powerful, Harry thought, to understand something so specific about people. There was always this feeling inside him that he would never know enough, and that no one would want to know enough of him in return. It haunted him as he began to rise to fame due to his incredible voice, and nearly drowned him once he signed the deal with Andrew and his company.

Many people didn’t want to know Harry, but instead use him, drain him, devour all that he had to give. He felt so much love in his heart and singing had been the only way to express how much it defined and shaped him. But it still didn’t feel like enough, to have this fame, to sing songs that he didn’t write and that he didn’t understand; how could he feel anything but longing when all he could sing about was girls in bars and girls in the city and girls and girls and girls.

The car drive was peppered with bickering between Zayn and Liam, but there was something tangible between them and Harry could feel it. His heart ached.

When they arrived, Harry quickly went to his room, undressing and brushing his teeth and tying his long hair into a bun, held together by some butterfly clips that Louis had left in the room, along with his red Kappa sweater. He picked the sweater up, folding it gently. He had a sudden feeling that he would definitely have to give Louis back his sweater. And the butterfly clips.

_Louis._

Two weeks had passed, and Harry could only say that his Italian had improved minimally but his heart had learnt that it could hide no longer, and Harry was ready to not hide anymore. Louis had struck something within him, and it was too late to stop it now. A longing for something more than his current life was all that he could think of, and it was all because Louis had carelessly and recklessly torn down all the lies and excuses that Harry had carefully shrouded himself with. He had been lain bare.

Two weeks. It had all changed in two weeks.


	2. uno - il mare

“Do you know when Zayn’s plane is arriving?”

Harry slid his sunglasses over his eyes, knowing that they would do little to protect him from anonymity but liking the feeling of security all the same. “Half eleven, I think.”

Liam had collected Harry’s luggage from the bagging area and now couldn’t keep still, a frown permanently etched on his face. “You think, or you know?”

Harry smirked, shrugging his shoulders (he knew Liam hated it when he did that). “I’m pretty sure that’s what he told me on the phone.” He yawned, itching to leave the airport as soon as possible. He loved his fans with his entire heart, but he had gone on this trip to get away from anything singing related.

Liam rolled his eyes, getting out his phone. “Honestly I don’t know how you are alive right now.” He huffed.

“Three meals and a cup of tea a day.” Harry replied. He laughed when Liam slapped him on the shoulder. “This is supposed to be a holiday for you as well.”

None of the tension seemed to leave Liam’s body, as he continued to bite his lip whilst looking up the arrival time of Zayn’s plane. “I can’t help it.” There was a pause as he continued to type. “Does Zayn even know who I am?”

A question Harry wasn’t even sure he could answer. Zayn was… _interesting,_ to say the least. He had a penchant for art, music, politics, and sleeping with every personal assistant that Andrew had assigned to Harry in the past five years. Liam had been with him the longest, and Harry wanted to keep it that way. There wasn’t a better personal assistant in the world, he was sure of it.

He also knew that Liam was Zayn’s type. It was going to be an interesting couple of weeks.

“He’s seen you before I think, remember the In My Heart launch party?” Harry said, watching as a group of young girls walked by, hoping that they wouldn’t recognise him –

“He was flirting with every person there.” Harry caught the bitterness in Liam’s voice, and a grin spread across his face.

“I’m guessing he wasn’t flirting with you, then.” Harry said teasingly, waiting to see his reaction.

Liam’s cheeks went red, and he looked pointedly at his phone. “I didn’t care.”

“Mhmm.” He looked up and spotted his heavily tattooed best friend. “Speaking of.”

Zayn Malik. Artist and visionary. He looked ready for a fashion runway even when in a ripped tee and jeans that were on the brink of becoming scrap fabric. Today he looked more put together than usual, wearing a white shirt, buttons half undone to display the multitude of tattoos that covered his chest, and dark blue jeans that showed off every single thing. He could imagine Liam’s jaw dropping to the ground and had to supress a smirk.

“Took your time.” Harry said, wrapping Zayn in a tight hug.

“Y’know me, always late.” Zayn mumbled, a sleepy smile on his face. His gaze travelled to where Liam was standing behind him, and the smile extended, eyes brightening. “It’s Liam, isn’t it?”

“Liam Payne, nice to meet you.” He held out his hand, ever the professional. Zayn looked momentarily surprised, but then shook Liam’s hand with the grin returning to his face. Harry could already tell that these two were going to cause him trouble.

“It’s a shame that we haven’t had the chance to talk before,” Zayn said smoothly, turning and raising an eyebrow at Harry. “How come you haven’t introduced us before, babe?”

Harry rolled his eyes, smiling as he picked up one of his suitcases. “It must have conveniently slipped my mind.” He noted Liam watching their exchange with amusement and curiosity. He could imagine all the questions he was going to get from Liam once they were alone.

“Well,” Zayn turned his dark eyes back to Liam, and Liam held his gaze, fixing his posture. “We’ll have plenty of time to fix that problem, won’t we?” His voice had dipped seductively, and Liam’s previous resolve faltered as a nervous smile appeared on his face.

“Anyway,” Harry said loudly. “Let’s get out of here before someone recognises me.”

“Or me, I’ve grown quite the fan base.” Zayn said proudly, picking up his bags. “Now follow me, my angels.”

Liam was frowning as he picked up his own bags. “I’ve already got a car picking us up, they’ll be –” He said, gesturing to the taxi rank sign that was above them.

Zayn laughed, all charm and youth. “You gorgeous thing, in Italy we do as the Italian’s do, hence why I’ve hired a car.” He pulled out a set of car keys, a devilish smirk on his face.

“Have you ever driven over here?” Liam asked, looking positively frightened, turning to Harry with pleading eyes. “Please tell me he knows how to drive.”

Zayn started to walk. “It’s only driving on the other side of the road; how hard could it be?” He called over his shoulder. Harry could only roll his eyes at his dramatics.

“I’m not getting in the car with him.” Liam said pointedly.

Harry laughed. “It’s our holiday Liam, let’s live a little yeah?”

Liam ended up walking with them, begrudgingly, and Harry watched the people making their way through the frenzied airport. He had been to so many airports in his time, but there was always something on his mind, a concert to think about or a fake date that he needed to go on. There were so many times that Harry just wanted to exist in the moment, to admire his settings and breathe. How long had it been since he had just _breathed?_

Zayn walked ahead, attracting attention without meaning to. Harry noticed how hard Liam was trying not to look, but it was hard not to, even for Harry himself. He demanded attention, and his beauty, effortless smile, and charming personality won nearly everyone over.

“Is he always like that?” Liam asked after they had been walking for a couple of minutes, Harry keeping his head down as much as possible.

He smiled. “Like what?” The faux innocence received a piercing glare from Liam.

Liam gestured awkwardly at Zayn with his free hand. “You know, like _that_.”

“From the moment I met him.” Harry replied, feeling a little fond. At least his best friend had never changed.

Liam huffed in response. “Bit of a prick, really.” He muttered, but his eyes didn’t leave Zayn’s sashaying form.

Harry laughed. “Unfortunately for you, a hot prick.”

“Not even a little bit.” Liam retorted, struggling to pull out his phone with his free hand. “I’ll probably have to call that driver, he’s going to be so confused. Where is Zayn going anyway?”

Zayn turned his head, sending them a dazzling smile. “Not too far now. Need any help, Liam?”

“Definitely not, thank you.” Liam replied sarcastically, which only caused Zayn’s smile to grow even more.

“Where did you find this one, Harry? He’s got all the bite of this… _entertainer_ I saw recently.” Zayn drawled. “You would have loved him Harry, he really knew how to move.”

Liam was turning an interesting shade of red, and Harry bit down on his lip to stop himself from laughing. “Zayn, why don’t you leave my assistant alone?”

Zayn simply shrugged, which in turn meant Liam was giving him a very pointed death stare. Liam angrily called the driver, speaking in broken Italian with his brows furrowed. Harry couldn’t judge him; his Italian wasn’t any better, though Harry’s enthusiasm for learning new languages is what made him so endearing to many of the locals that he met.

Soon they were out in the warm summer air, and Zayn was leading them towards a cream convertible with the roof down that looked incredibly lavish and something from the set of Roman Holiday. He unlocked the boot of the car, piling his bags in before sitting down in the driver’s seat.

“Very inconspicuous.” Harry said sarcastically as he put his and Liam’s bag in the boot, closing it as gently as he could.

“Siamo giovane!” Zayn called, pulling out a pair of sunglasses and sliding them onto his face. “Liam join me in the front.”

“Giovan _i,_ we’re three males.” Liam replied, crossing his arms, looking unimpressed. “And I would want to sit in the death seat, why?”

Zayn grinned, turning the car on with an exaggerated flourish of his hand. “Because I’m a beautiful male, and _you’re_ a beautiful male, and I think we should make the most of our situation.”

Liam looked at Harry with wide eyes. “Are you sure this is your best friend?” He said, and Harry sighed dramatically.

“I’m not sure Liam, he looks so different in the Italian sun.” Harry cocked his head, squinting at Zayn. “Do you… do you look more like a prick?”

“Fuck right off babe,” Zayn said playfully, before patting the seat beside him. “Come on Liam, you can pick the music.”

Liam immediately jumped into the front seat, a mischievous smile on his face. “You’re going to regret this, Zayn Malik.”

“I have a feeling that’s not going to be the case.”

Harry climbed into the back seat, feeling his muscles loosen as Zayn sped off, out of the airport and into the Italian countryside. He devoured the quaintness of it all; the rolling hills and cottages and small towns spattered beautifully across the canvas that was the countryside. Harry couldn't begin to imagine all the names, all the stories, all the love that must exist in those towns.

He wondered what it would be like, to grow old with someone in a small town, surrounded only by old buildings and old trees and filled with complete love. It was all that he had dreamed about.

Liam had begun to blast electronic club music, and Zayn’s smooth suave exterior melted away to pure annoyance. Liam was grinning like a child, dancing insanely to the beat as best as one could in a car. Harry could only laugh, because it was his freedom, his chance to be truly himself and he wasn’t going to let go to waste.

Even if there was shitty electronic music playing

Liam’s phone beeped, and Harry immediately saw his expression fall. Not a good sign. “Who is it?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, locking the phone before stuffing it into his bag. “Nothing important, I’ll tell you later.”

Normally, Harry would insist. Because when Liam got messages, it was usually from Andrew and it meant that he had another girl lined up for Harry, or another pap run to do. He often felt like he needed days to mentally prepare himself, to numb himself just enough that anything that occurred afterwards would fade into nothing. It would just be a dream.

“Okay.” Harry said, running his hand through his just-below-shoulder length curls. “Zayn, could you please stay on the right-hand side of the road?”

“Holy fuck we’re going to die!” Liam yelled, gripping his seatbelt as if that would save him.

“Calm down, there’s no one around,” Zayn said coolly, moving his way back into the lane, the smirk having returned at the sign of Liam’s flustered state. “I wonder, do you scream that loud –”

Harry hit Zayn on the back of the head. “Focus on the road, please.”

“Fine, fine.” A pause, of wonderful silence. “Your assistant is so easy to toy with.” Zayn muttered, smiling.

“The assistant is right here, you ass!”

The rest of the two-hour ride to Positano continued in this manner. Harry hadn’t really planned on being a third wheel, but they were so entertaining, and he couldn’t help but smile and admire the ever-changing landscape that surrounded him. The Italian summer sun was bliss on his skin, and he couldn’t wait to go swimming in the ocean and not worry whether there were reporters taking photos of his every move.

Andrew had tried to convince him to allow reporters to know his whereabouts, which would apparently boost ‘buzz’ for his upcoming tour. Harry rarely got angry, but that meeting set off something in him, and after Andrew finally conceded to let him be undisturbed, he went home and screamed his lungs out until his throat was raw and tears were streaming down his cheeks.

Harry was brought back to himself at Liam’s indignant curses at Zayn. The roads started to tighten as Zayn drove along the coastline, and Harry couldn’t help but take photos of the crystal blue water, Zayn’s mischievous smile, and Liam’s disgruntled frown with his vintage polaroid camera. He carefully slotted the polaroids into his tote bag, not wanting to forget this day, nor the freedom he felt in this moment.

“We’ll be there soon my loves!” Zayn cried gleefully over the deafening techno beat that Liam had opted for in their last leg of the journey.

“I am _not_ your love.” Liam snarled.

“Shush you two, you haven’t stopped yapping these past two hours.” Harry said, noting a town coming up in the distance.

Liam snapped his head around. “It’s not my fault that _he’s_ –” He pointed aggressively at Zayn, who was still smirking. “A complete jackass!”

“And you suddenly became American when?” Zayn said slyly.

The bickering continued, and as Zayn sped along, Harry noticed someone walking on the side of the road, perilously close to the edge, where the road ended and the cliff face to the sea began. He had a large backpack on, which looked nearly half his size.

“Zayn, slow down!” Harry yelled over the music.

Zayn frowned at him in the rear-view mirror. “What?”

“Pull over, I want to see if that person needs help. I don’t think they should be walking that close to the edge.” Harry said, wondering why someone would be walking down a road like this with a backpack that looked like it was dwarfing the person.

“Okay, but only because I am a good person.” Zayn said, turning down the music, and pulling to a stop thirty metres behind where the person was walking.

Harry got out of the car, doing an odd little jog to catch up with the person. “Scusami!” Harry yelled, feeling awkward and odd at screaming in Italian at some stranger.

They spun around, and Harry managed to catch up to them. He was met with startling blue eyes and windswept brown hair, and something turned in Harry’s stomach. The man standing in front of him was wearing tracksuit pants, and a tight white t-shirt that did not hide anything (including a variety of tattoos that Harry was very much interested in).

“Ha bisogno di aiuto, signore?” Harry asked, slightly out of breath, but allowing a dazzling smile to grace his face.

“Uhh,” He started to say, looking slightly terrified. “Inglese?” He asked, and Harry’s smile widened even further.

“Oh, English as well!” Harry replied joyfully, taking off his sunglasses and perching them on his head. “Are you okay?”

A look of surprise came over the stranger’s face, his cheeks turning red. “Fuck, you’re Harry Styles.” He said breathlessly, before shaking his head slightly. “And yes, I’m all good, just um, walking to my hotel!”

Harry tried to pull himself together; this stranger was very attractive and had the cutest smile that he had seen in a while. “Where are you heading to…?” Harry asked.

“Louis.” He answered, still looking flustered. “I’m going to Positano, I don’t think it’s too far –”

“It’s not, we’re actually heading there, if you’d like come with? We could take you to your hotel. Or motel. Or whatever type of accommodation you have.” Harry rambled, gesturing behind him where Zayn and Liam were still bickering. Louis looked over his shoulder and smiled, his eyes crinkling adorably.

“Oh, that’s very sweet, but I think I’ll walk, the sea is beautiful.” Louis said.

Harry felt himself deflate slightly. “You’re not wrong,” He said, looking out over the water, before returning his gaze to Louis, who was looking at him intently. “Well, if you’re sure, I’ll let you keep walking.”

Louis smiled shyly, and Harry’s heart skipped a beat. “Yeah, I better get going.”

Harry nodded, not moving, fixing his sunglasses. “If you see us in Positano, you’ll come say hi?” It was a _stupid_ question, and it felt dangerous and reckless but there was something in Louis’ smile that made his brain yell: _fuck it._

“Of course, yeah, definitely.” Louis gushed, and the red of his cheeks intensified.

Harry grinned. “Okay, good.”

“Goodbye, Harry.”

“Bye, Louis.” Harry said, watching as he started to walk up the road. He walked back to the car, where Zayn was once again trying to woo Liam, who was beet red and looked about ready to jump off the cliff. Zayn stopped when he saw Harry approaching.

“Are they all good?” Zayn asked as Harry got into the back seat.

“Uh yeah, he wanted to walk to his hotel.” Harry said, not taking his eyes off Louis. “He’s staying in Positano as well.”

“Well he looks fit from the back.” Zayn commented, and Liam rolled his eyes in disgust, Harry feeling himself blush a little. “Was he fit?”

“He was decent enough,” Harry mumbled, turning his face away so that Zayn couldn’t see the smile that was creeping onto his face.

“Honestly Zayn, you’re so lucky that Harry tolerates you, otherwise you would be alone.” Liam muttered, turning up his music as Zayn pulled back onto the road.

“I don’t think you’re going to want to leave my side after our holiday.” Zayn all but purred, which earned him a sharp slap on the arm from Liam.

Louis waved as they drove past him, and Harry waved back, watching Louis until he could no longer see him. Even then, he replayed every moment, trying to keep his bright blue eyes in his mind, or the way that his eyes crinkled when he smiled.

Harry shook his head, turning back to face the front. He always did this, and he always got hurt when they didn’t feel the same or when he couldn’t do anything about it. It was not part of the Harry Styles image to be gay; being closeted was how it was going to stay as long as he was with Andrew.

But he couldn’t help but wonder; wonder and hope for someone to come change it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone!! I really hope that you guys are enjoying this, let me know what you're thinking so far!
> 
> feel free to talk to me about 1d things on tumblr @harry20gayteen
> 
> all the love, Sara xx


	3. due - la speranza

Louis really should have accepted Harry’s offer to be driven to Positano.

The backpack was beginning to feel heavier and heavier on his back, particularly with the sun beating down on his face. He had mistakenly told his taxi driver to drop him off at the wrong town and ended up having to walk three hours instead of thirty minutes.

He couldn’t deny that his surroundings weren’t beyond beautiful; the crystal sea, the white cliffs, the sea air. He wasn’t too far now, according to the map that he had tucked into one of the side pockets of his backpack, but his legs were aching, and the jet lag was starting to catch up with him.

But every time Louis felt like collapsing on the spot, he remembered that he had met _Harry Styles,_ the Harry Styles that he secretly had a poster of in his room, the Harry Styles that he had bought tickets to see in Manchester. The conversation he had with him was a near blur, and only certain things were coming to him clearly, like his bright green eyes and the way Harry had put his sunglasses on his head.

Louis felt himself smile a little, and he decided that this was a good start to his two-week vacation. He began to daydream about seeing Harry again in Positano, Louis looking amazing and Harry looking equally amazing –

He shook his head, trying not to get too ahead of himself. Whilst Louis Tomlinson prided himself in being the most openly gay man in his own life, Louis had seen all the girls that Harry had been with across his five-year career. He had read the articles, seen the pap photos. Harry Styles was not a gay man.

There were obviously conspiracy theories, and Louis had drunk them in when Harry first became big, but he was a celebrity and Louis was struggling to deal with his own gay problems in Doncaster, which were turning his life upside down.

Teaching had not been one of his main career choices when he was 15 years old, but being a professional songwriter was quickly laughed at by all the important adults in his life, and the dream slipped away to the hidden confines of his mind. Teaching was safe, he was told. Louis would be so wonderful with the children.

Despite it all, Louis wrote songs constantly, especially when he came out. It had gone better than expected with his family, but a fair few of his high school friends had silently left him after he had boldly come out by posting a video on Facebook in his last year of school.

The video was still there now, and sometimes Louis liked to watch it, to send love to the 17-year-old boy who had no idea if it was the right thing to do, who was scared out of his mind.

The road started to turn away from the sea, and Louis followed it, hoping that it was taking him to the right place. Then, buildings started to pop up, and he saw other people walking the streets. Italian words floated around him as he continued closer to the city centre, the words holding little meaning but sounding lyrical and heavenly after three hours of walking by himself (well, not counting Harry Styles pulling over and talking to him for two minutes).

He finally saw the sign for _Hotel San Luca,_ a three star place Louis had booked in haste when seeing how cheap it was compared to the rest of the town. Louis did not realise at the time that he had accidentally picked one of the more luxurious towns to stay in, but he thought it was fitting, with his dream of being a renowned songwriter and all. He could pretend, for two weeks, that he had just received a Grammy nomination for a song he had artfully crafted for a big shot singer, sipping wine as he looked over the pristine water.

Which is still what exactly Louis was going to, despite being a newly qualified secondary school drama teacher who only earned 23,000 pounds a year. No one could stop him from drinking wine whilst overlooking the ocean.

Louis walked into the hotel, desperately trying to remember the _How to Learn Italian_ podcast he had been listening to on the flight over. The small hotel lobby consisted of a shabby green couch, a little stand filled with brochures, and an old wooden desk with an over older computer and a middle-aged woman sitting behind it.

“Buongiorno,” Louis said, voice cracking slightly. “Mi chiamo Louis –”

The lady jumped out of her chair, the widest smile adorning her face. “Signor Louis! Benvenuti all’Hotel San Luca, mi chiamo Anna, abbiamo preparato una stanze per Lei, viene con me!”

The woman was one of the most animated people that Louis had ever met in his life, and he couldn’t help but smile as she led him up a set of stairs, talking constantly. He had no idea what she was saying, but it sounded nice and he nodded politely at random points in the conversation, which seemed to please her immensely.

“Eccoci, se ha bisogno di qualcosa, signor Louis, sono in albergo tutto il giorno,” Anna said, handing him a key as they stood outside a room with a blue number _12_ painted on the white door.

“Si, grazie.” Louis replied, and she laughed loudly.

“Benissimo!” She walked back down the stairs, and Louis knew that he would (definitely) have to listen to that podcast again.

He unlocked the door and sighed contently at seeing the very comfortable looking double bed in front of him. The room was painted white, with a large window that overlooked the street. He could even see the sea from here, and the worries of getting to his hotel faded away and the excitement began to settle in.

Louis Tomlinson was going to have the best fucking time of his life, he was sure of it.

………….

Whilst Louis was tearing off his clothes and climbing into his clean bed, Harry was opening a bottle of wine on the balcony of his room. The villa was set higher up in the cliffs, with a breathtaking view of Positano, set in a beautiful little bay. The day was slowly coming to a close, but he was itching to get down into the town, to eat some good Italian food, and drink some even more amazing wine.

He poured himself a glass, taking a sip as he simply admired his surroundings. He took a moment to breathe, to remember how incredibly lucky he was to be here right now. There was a small bubble on contentment in his chest, slowly expanding with each sip of wine. It was going to be a lovely two weeks.

Harry wandered back inside, putting the wine bottle and glass on the coffee table in his room, before making his way to the lounge room. It was the vision of luxury, with floor to ceiling windows looking out over the bay, white sofas and plush rugs with a large flatscreen TV, and a gorgeous piano that Harry was itching to get his hands on.

The lounge room also came with two rather exasperating additions, which came in the shape of Liam Payne and Zayn Malik. Unsurprisingly, they were still bickering – it had been at least five hours since they had begun – and Liam was looking more frazzled and Zayn couldn’t have looked more entertained.

“Liam, if we’re to have a good holiday you’re going to have to get off that phone.” Zayn said as he lounged on one of the white sofas, not unlike a model in a Vogue photoshoot.

Liam rolled his eyes as he continued to type on his phone. “My job is to be Harry’s personal assistant, not to be your little play thing.” He said, rather cordially compared to the previous yelling that Harry had heard when he was unpacking.

Zayn opened his mouth to say something but closed it and smiled when he saw Harry approaching. “What are we going to do tonight, my curly haired prince?”

Harry smirked, picking up the car keys. “Dinner. And some good wine for when we get back.”

“Good, I’m starving.” Zayn said, yawning as he sat up.

“Are you coming, Liam?” Harry asked as he quickly fixed his hair in one of the floor mirrors.

“I might stay in tonight, I need a little break.” Liam fixed his glare on Zayn, who was blatantly ignoring the death glare he was receiving, getting up and heading down to his room.

“There’s food in the fridge if you need it,” Harry said, clapping Liam on the back as he walked to the front door. “I’ll try and keep Zayn out of your hair as long as possible.”

Liam smiled, the glare leaving his face, showing how tired he really was. “I’ll give Gem a call, let her know we got here safely.”

Harry’s chest grew warm. “We’ll see you later.”

“Bye, babe!” Zayn called, and the smell of the cologne he put on filled the room, along with his dazzling smile.

Liam rolled his eyes, instead going on his phone and finding Gemma’s number. Zayn frowned a little at the lack of reaction, and Harry had to push him out the door before another bickering/flirting session began.

“Who’s he calling?” Zayn asked, unlocking the car and climbing into the driver’s seat.

Harry got into the passenger seat, admiring how the sky was beginning to turn pink, purple and orange. “My sister, just to let her know that we’re all good.”

Zayn grunted, pulling out of the driveway and slowly making his way down towards the town. “Didn’t know they were close.”

Harry turned in his seat, eyebrows raised. “He has been my assistant for a year, he’s seen my mum and sister heaps.” A smirk started to form on his face as he observed Zayn’s scowl. “What, are you _jealous?_ ”

Zayn laughed loudly, turning on the radio. “I just wanted to know whether he was single or not before I put my charm on.”

“Your charm is not working, at all,” Harry said, tucking his stray flyaway hair behind his ears. “Also, could you refrain from making him want to jump off a cliff? He’s the best at what he does, I couldn’t do it without him.”

Harry meant to say it jokingly, but there was some seriousness to his words. The last assistant, Riley, had left after two weeks, which had started to become a common theme with his assistants. They were briefed on Harry’s situation quite candidly, before signing a non-disclosure agreement should they quit. It wasn’t long before they started to see some of the other shady shit that was happening under Andrew’s control, and left soon after.

He understood that many of them left for Harry, not wanting to be a part of the sick game that Andrew played, and that Harry had painfully grown accustomed to. Learned hopelessness, he had read in a random article on psychology. It sounded about right. But it was lonely, especially after the album was released and he was flying to different countries to do promo. He understood why they left, but a small selfish part just wished that someone would stay.

Liam Payne was not someone that Harry picked to be a keeper: he exuded no confidence in the beginning, and treated Harry like he was the most precious thing in the world. But it was after Liam’s first official meeting with Andrew that he changed drastically. Harry remembered waiting outside Andrew’s office building with his and Liam’s coffee, wondering if this was going to be another goodbye. He had become good at them.

Liam had walked out, his eyes stormy and face solemn. Harry’s shoulders dropped, and a bad feeling started to settle in his stomach. Another one gone.

“Is it true?” Liam asked quietly, looking him in the eye with an intensity that he had never exhibited in his first week of being an assistant. “All that Andrew said?”

Harry had given Liam the coffee, smiling sadly. “You don’t have to stay.”

Liam looked confused, looking down at the coffee and then back up at him. “Why would I leave?” He asked.

After that, a fast friendship formed. Liam had quietly come out as gay to him two days after his meeting. They spent three hours crying, Liam for Harry, Harry for what could not be. Liam argued for Harry when he couldn’t himself, trying to lessen the impacts of Andrew’s plans. It didn’t always work, but it helped to know that he had Liam on his side, unconditionally and selflessly.

Zayn sighed dramatically, bringing him back to the present. “I’ll try, you always pick hot ones.” Zayn said, pulling into a car spot that was near the beach.

Harry grinned. “Well you don’t have to have sex with them, you know.”

Zayn snorted, flashing him a mischievous smile. “They always say yes, babe. I’m not going to turn down consensual sex.”

There were a few people still walking on the streets, but the majority of people had made their way into the large fancy restaurants that were near the beach. Harry knew that there were more up in the hills, having seen some beautiful photos online of open balconies set in cliffs, looking over the ocean and the rest of Positano.

They picked the restaurant closest to them, and Harry managed to get them a table outside in the warm summer evening air. As he looked around him, his thoughts idly went to Louis, and he wondered what he was doing right now. He smiled as he imagined him trying to communicate with the locals with his obviously limited Italian.

“What are you smiling about?” Zayn asked, prodding him with his foot.

Harry flicked Zayn’s hand. “Careful, those pants are Gucci.”

“It’s not my fault you spent seven hundred quid on pants.” Zayn said. “And here’s the food, thank fuck.”

Harry had missed Zayn. Besides Liam and his family, Zayn was one of the only people that had stuck around, and frankly did not care about Harry being a popstar. He cared that he was being purposefully closeted but yawned when Harry told him about fan stats and the amount of views that he got on his music videos.

Zayn had always kept him grounded.

They had both ordered gnocchi, Zayn’s with butter and sage, and Harry’s with a Napoli sauce. The wine came out, and Harry had to make sure that Zayn didn’t drink too much. He wasn’t particularly keen on having a car accident on his first day of his holiday.

Two hours later, and Harry had nearly finished the wine bottle, his chest warm and world tilting slightly.  Zayn was watching him ramble on in amusement.

“Will you design my merch for me, Zayn?” Harry asked, pulling out money for the waiter, who was looking on with eyebrows raised. “Grazie mille, sei molte gentile.” Harry shoved the money into the waiter’s hands, his eyes widening as he realised how much Harry had given him.

“Grazie!” He said in awe, before rushing off towards the kitchen. “Guarda, Elena!”

Harry attempted to get up, but tripped, nearly falling to the ground. Zayn managed to grab him, laughing loudly, drawing attention from everyone around them. “Zayn let’s go! Grab the wine! For Liam!” He declared.

“I haven’t seen you this fucked in a long time, but I love it.” Zayn said, managing to drag Harry out of the restaurant and onto the street. “Should take advantage of this, take a video, use it as leverage.”

“You’re actually so hilarious.” Harry drawled, the warm feeling in his body matching the summer air. “Where do you reckon Louis is?”

Zayn raised his eyebrows. “Who the hell is Louis?”

Harry smiled sheepishly at the mere thought of the blue-eyed boy, stumbling over the cobblestones. “Fuck! You know Louis, Zayn, you saw him.” Harry said, tilting his head up to the sky. “Look, stars.”

“You do not know how to hold your alcohol, at all.” Zayn said, shaking his head. “I’ve never met a Louis that you know, although there was this Louis I met in Spain –”

Harry’s face scrunched up into a frown. “Zayn stop talking about all your lovers –”

“Who the fuck says lovers anymore?”

“– Because I am alone, and I cannot have my own lovers, and don’t talk about people called Louis because I’m drunk and it’s sounding like you’ve fucked every Louis you’ve met which would mean you fucked the Louis _I_ know.”

Zayn gaped at him before bursting out into laughter. “You’re such an idiot, Harry. God how am I going to get you home?” He said, watching as Harry pranced down the street.

Harry smirked, stopping as he once again got distracted by the stars. “We are not going home, you sexy man.”

“Oh yeah we are,” Zayn said, trying to stop his laughter, the widest smile on his face. “You called me sexy.”

Harry waved a dismissive hand, continuing down the street, Louis’ blue eyes stuck in his drunk mind. “You already knew that, Zayn.”

“Not wrong there.”

Harry sighed, frowning, hands on hips. “Do you think we can find Louis, Zayn?” He said, the world spinning and his head feeling light.

Zayn caught up with Harry just as he was about to fall again. “If you tell me who he is, then maybe.” He replied, grinning. “I’m very curious as to who has fully absorbed your addlebrained attention.”

“We saw him earlier today! Sky blue eyes, crinkly eyed-smile, massive backpack…” Harry trailed off, a dopey smile coming onto his face. Positano was beautiful at night.

“The guy that was walking on the road?” Zayn burst out laughing once again, Harry’s smile widening in his drunken haze. “Didn’t I tell you that falling for every pretty boy you see on the street is a bad thing?”

“He tripped me, and I’ve been falling ever since.” Harry slurred, giggling.

Zayn winced. “That was terrible babe, never say that again.”

They were far from where Zayn parked the car, but Harry was in love with this night, the careless freedom, currently free from consequence or thought. It had been a long time since he had been like this, and it was all pouring out: the desire, the want, the potential happiness.

“Come on Harry, we should head back and see if Liam’s okay.” Zayn said, stopping in the street, taking out his phone. “I forgot to bring the portable Wi-Fi, damn it.”

Harry pouted, heading back towards Zayn. “How could I forget about Liam? He needs to try this wine.”

Zayn sighed, linking his arm with Harry’s and guiding him back the way they came. “I think you need to sleep.”

Harry managed to get his phone out of his pocket, shoving it into Zayn’s hands. “Get Liam’s number, you can text him and tell him we’re okay and that I’m sorry for deserting him.” Harry mumbled, overcome by an extreme sadness that was only sixty percent attributable to the alcohol.

“Harry Styles, I forbid you from drunk crying on the first night of your holiday.” Zayn said sternly.

“I can do what I want.”

Zayn laughed. “Petulant child.”

A giggle escaped Harry’s lips, the sadness slipping away. “Who the fuck says petulant anymore?”

“You’re a right prick when you’re drunk.” Zayn muttered, elbowing Harry in the side.

“Learnt from the best, babe!” Harry sung, Zayn shushing him.

Harry watched as Zayn started texting Liam, his eyes shifting in and out of focus. But even his drunk brain registered how he wrote something very flirty out before deleting it all and sending a text that was normal. He wondered about that, but he could only put it down to Zayn not wanting to anger Liam anymore.

There were still people walking in the streets, and Harry smiled adoringly at every single one, feeling complete and utter love in his chest for all things. They finally reached the car, and Zayn bundled him in, buckling Harry’s seatbelt as he stared up the stars. They were so bright, and he wondered if Louis was looking up at them.

“Star-crossed lovers.” Harry whispered as Zayn drove back to the villa, the wind whipping his hair around his face.

“What’d you say, babe?” Zayn asked.

“All the star-crossed lovers,” Harry sung feebly, smiling. “Lost in the spaces in-between.”

Zayn hummed happily. “I like that.”

Harry turned his head to look at his best friend, who looked so serene in the moonlight. “Why have you never written a song with me?”

He shook his head at that, smiling softly. “You were always the musical talent, babe.”

“Just one, one day.” They were getting closer to the villa, and the lightness Harry had been experiencing before slowly transforming into heaviness.

Liam was standing at the front door when they pulled into the driveway, and Harry waved at him excitedly. “Liam! You been standing there all night?”

“How much did he drink?” Liam asked Zayn.

“Not that much.” Zayn said, getting out and rushing to help Harry before he fell out of the car. “He’s a lightweight.”

“Am not.” Harry mumbled.

Liam opened the door, helping Zayn guide Harry in. “At least you’re not drunk.” Liam said.

“Well I’m not an idiot.” Zayn said. Harry’s eyes were getting heavier by the second, and everything was starting to spin faster.

“Didn’t say that, _babe_.”

Harry groaned, cutting off Zayn’s reply. “Stop flirting and get me to bed, please.”

“I was not flirting.” Liam muttered under his breath.

“I definitely was.”

Harry felt himself being guided to the bed, and he burrowed into the pillows. He could hear Zayn and Liam bickering, and someone was taking off his shoes and then Zayn was putting a blanket on top of him and it was such a childish sensation, to be taken care of. He had never felt such fondness in his life.

………….

Zayn and Liam quietly walked out of Harry’s room, Zayn closing the door behind him. They both stood there in the corridor, and Zayn was tempted to say something in his typical flirtatious fashion, but he didn’t want to wake Harry.

“Did he do anything stupid?” Liam asked quietly, his arms wrapped around himself, looking smaller and younger.

Zayn smiled at the door, shaking his head slightly. “I mean he couldn’t shut up about trying to find some guy named Louis.”

Liam frowned, and Zayn (randomly) thought that someone like Liam should never frown. “Who’s Louis?”

“You remember that guy that was walking on the side of the road when we were driving here? Him.”

The frown morphed into a smile, a soft smile that Zayn hadn’t seen before. “He’s so quick to do that, with every vaguely good looking male he sees.”

A fond smile graced Zayn’s face. “I know, he’s been doing it for years.”

There was a moment of silence, both stuck in that small tranquil moment, looking at each other properly for the first time. Liam was the first to look away, moving his body away from Zayn’s slightly.

“I should probably go to bed?” Liam whispered, looking confused at the own question in his voice, avoiding eye contact.

“Yeah, good idea.” Zayn mumbled, feeling the moment they shared shattering before his very eyes.

Liam turned and started walking down to his room, and it didn’t sit right, that their first night of their holiday should end like this.

“Night, Liam.” Zayn called softly, hating how it didn’t convey any of his usual confidence. The gentleness sounded odd to his own ears.

Liam paused, looking back at Zayn over his shoulder. A smirk spread across his face. “Goodnight, babe.”

Zayn couldn’t help but grin back. He padded back to his room, grabbing a cigarette and heading out onto the balcony, moon highlighting the tattoos that seemed to dance across his skin at night. He could faintly hear Harry snoring in the room over, and shook his head, watching the cigarette smoke curl up into the sky.

All he could think about was that smile that was too soft for words. Zayn spent the night carving the gentleness of the smile into the deepest corners of his imagination, until all he could see when he closed his eyes was _that_ smile, and a night sky filled with endless stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so in love with writing this!! uploading this chapter because Louis, Harry, and Liam won teen choice awards and I am so proud :'))
> 
> I hope you guys are liking this as much as I like writing this, my tumblr is @harry20gayteen if you want talk to me about this fic or other things
> 
> all the love, Sara xx


	4. tre - l'incontro

“Why did I get so drunk?” Harry moaned, sunglasses on his face. They were all sitting in a café that was tucked near one of the many churches, people in floral dresses and linen shirts sipping coffees and talking in lilting Italian. “I only had a couple of glasses of wine…”

“You’re a lightweight, that’s your issue.” Zayn said, bringing the cup of tea to his lips.

Liam snorted. “He’s not wrong there.”

Zayn paused before taking a sip, and Harry saw the small smile that was on his face. He would need to ask about _that_ later. Maybe when his head stopped throbbing and the sunlight wasn’t causing him to hiss slightly in pain.

“Of course I’m a lightweight, when do I have time for drinking?” Harry muttered, taking a bite of his toast.

“I’m glad we didn’t see Louis last night, you would’ve been a true embarrassment.” Zayn said, fixing his hair in the reflection of his phone screen.

“Oh no,” Harry face palmed, forgetting he had sunglasses on and painfully smashing them into his face. “What was I saying?”

“That you wanted to go find him, his beautiful sea blue eyes, and how you’ve been falling since –” Zayn’s eyes were mischievous, and Liam was starting to giggle.

“No, no, enough.” Harry took his sunglasses off, squinting a little before adjusting to the morning light. “I already know I’m an embarrassment.”

Liam finished the last bite of his pastry, looking out onto the street, where people were walking and it all looked very inviting. “We should probably figure out what we’re going to do today, anyway.”

Zayn smirked, and Harry could see the sexual joke coming from a mile away. “Well, I know something you and I could do, babe.”

Liam levelled him with a glare that kill a god. “As long as it ends with you at the bottom of the ocean, then I might be down.” He said coolly.

Harry cleared his throat, crossing his arms. “You both need to shut up, please.”

They both looked at him, Liam disgruntled and Zayn a little shocked. Zayn looked like he was about to say something, but his gaze became fixed on something behind Harry, a large grin coming onto his face.

“Harry, don’t freak, but –” Zayn said slowly, and Harry’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“What –”

“Hey, Harry?”

Harry spun in his chair, nearly falling out in his haste. Louis was standing there, a nervous smile on his face. He was wearing a black and white Adidas t-shirt and black shorts that showed off the curve of his legs. Harry tried not to stare.

“Louis, hey, you’re here, in this café.” Harry knew he wasn’t really making sense, and he remembered that he probably looked like a hungover mess.

“Um, yeah, my hotel’s right around the corner,” He said, gesturing outside. “I promised I’d come say hi if I saw you.”

Harry began to smile, a warm feeling in his chest. “I’m glad you did. Here, take my seat, I’ll get – I’ll go get another one.”

Before Louis could say anything, Harry had stood up and gone to grab another chair, his heart racing. He had hoped to see Louis, his drunk brain had made that very clear, but with his head still hurting and feeling a little sleep deprived, it was almost surreal to see him here in this café.

“Harry are you going to introduce us to your friend here?” Zayn said when Harry came back with the extra chair, Harry feeling a little nervous at the smirk that was on Zayn’s face.

“Louis, this is Liam and Zayn. Liam and Zayn, Louis.” Harry said, strategically putting his chair between Louis and Zayn.

“Zayn Malik?” Louis asked, and Harry could see Liam’s face going sour and Zayn’s face brightening.

“Yeah, that’s me.” Zayn said, taking another sip of his tea, looking suave and beyond enticing. Harry was pretty sure he himself looked like a zombie that had been dead for a thousand years.

“I follow you on Instagram, I love your work!” Louis said, shuffling a little closer to the table. “Especially the artwork you did for Harry’s album, it matched the whole vibe of the music perfectly.”

Louis’ gaze moved over to Harry’s for a small moment, before he looked away, and Harry’s heart couldn’t really take it because Louis was extremely beautiful, and Harry already knew that even if Louis was gay, it couldn’t happen. He would never want anyone to be brought into the life of secrecy that he was living; he couldn’t fathom it.

Zayn was glowing from the praise, a grin on his face. “I appreciate that a lot, thank you.” He ran a hand through his hair, and Harry watched the interaction with growing dread. “So, what do _you_ do, Louis?”

Louis smiled, eyes darting to Liam who was struggling to hide the (unexpected?) anger on his face. “I’m a secondary school drama teacher, back in Doncaster.”

“Doncaster’s very nice.” Harry said abruptly, and Louis’ smile widened.

“I grew up there, so I might be a bit biased, but yeah it’s great.” Louis replied. “When was the last time you were in Donny?”

“Probably a couple of years ago now, would’ve been around the time I got signed.”

Louis’ eyes widened. “Who would’ve thought, I might’ve crossed you in the street!”

Harry smiled, unable to stop it. “I’m sure I would’ve remembered your face.”

The compliment slipped out easily, and Louis waved it off, his eyes sparkling as he ducked his head a little. Zayn raised his eyebrows at Harry, and Liam was rolling his eyes, the anger having dissipated for the moment. He would definitely have to ask about that later.

“Did you have anything planned for the day?” Liam asked, and Harry felt the hope rise in his chest, _stay, stay, stay –_

“Uh no, was just gonna walk around, y’know?”

“Well we should definitely do that together!” Zayn said, standing up and pulling money out of one of his jean pockets.

Liam shook his head slightly, smiling kindly at Louis. “If you’d like the company, feel free to.”

Harry grabbed his camera from under the table as Zayn walked off. “You don’t have to come, if you don’t want to.” Harry said, trying hard not to stare at Louis.

Louis laughed, and Harry’s heart stopped momentarily. “I think I’ll stick with you lads, I have no idea how to speak Italian, and it seems like you know it better than me.”

“It’ll be fun, I’ll try and keep Zayn from ripping your clothes off in the street.” Liam said sarcastically as they walked out of the café.

Louis turned bright red. “Yeah, might be a good idea.” He said, his voice having gone up a little.

_That was definitely not straight,_ Harry thought to himself, wincing a little in the direct sunlight. God, he hadn’t felt this shit in months.

“You right there, Harry?” Liam asked teasingly, bumping him with his hip.

“You know how I feel.” Harry muttered, opening his camera and taking a photo of the street. He turned the camera to Louis and Liam, who looked golden in the sun. “Smile!”

Harry took the photo, and then smiled as he looked at it on the screen. He walked over and showed the photo to them, completely aware that Louis was nearly touching him, and that his face was alarmingly close to his.

“That’s a nice photo, Harry.” Louis said appreciatively.

“Thank you.” Harry replied softly, trying not to turn his head to look at him because it was too close, and he knew already how screwed he was.

Liam groaned. “I look terrible, like I’m the one with the hangover.”

“I doubt that.” Zayn said, having walked out of the café. “Let’s go, my loves.”

“You don’t even know where we’re going.” Liam said as they started to walk up the street, the sun showing off all the rustic colours of the buildings that surrounded them.

Zayn stepped beside Louis, linking his arm in his. “What were you going to do today, babe?”

“I know there’s this really beautiful church, nearby, I can’t remember the name though.” Louis said, looking a little flustered.

“Santa Maria Assunta,” Liam said. “It’s not too far.”

“Done, let’s respectfully take photos of my not straight ass in a church.” Zayn said, making Harry laugh and Louis fight to hide the smile on his face.

“If you get us kicked out of a church, Zayn, I’m going to kick you out of our holiday.” Liam warned, eyebrows furrowed.

“Babe, I’d never get you in trouble,” Zayn cooed, Liam giving him the finger. “Louis, on the other hand, I have no guarantees.”

“Well me being in a church might be insult enough.” Louis said, Zayn’s eyebrows going up, and Liam giving him a curious look.

“What have you done, you naughty boy?” Zayn asked incredulously.

Louis looked at Harry, and he could see the nervousness in his body. “You don’t have to say,” Harry said, and he could see the nervousness leave, a quiet confidence replacing it.

Harry was in complete _awe_ of this man.

“Last time I checked, gay men weren’t exactly welcomed in the Catholic church.” Louis said, and Harry could see how he was watching them all, assessing their reactions.

Liam snorted. “Oh well, we’re going in anyway.”

Louis visibly brightened, a grin on his face. Harry cursed his luck, wondering how on earth he was supposed to deal with Louis being so very beautifully gay. Fuck.

“You got lucky Louis, you’re hanging out with two very not straight men today.” Zayn said gleefully. “Oh, this is going to be fun!”

Harry had to look away, his breath catching in his throat. It had been years that Zayn and Liam never referred to Harry as not straight, as per Harry’s contract, but it still hurt. He had to be reminded of his own prison on his holiday, when that’s what he was trying to avoid.

He could easily correct Zayn in a word, but it was too much. This happened often, and Harry had to swallow the hurt down and move on, despite how much he wanted people to know this important part of himself.

Louis and Zayn were chatting amicably ahead of him, and Liam had stopped to wait for Harry, who had fallen behind. He could see the worry on his face, and his throat closed up even more.

“Are you okay?” Liam asked softly.

Harry tried to smile, but it didn’t feel right. “I just don’t want to pretend anymore.”

He knew that Liam couldn’t really say anything to that, because he couldn’t do anything, and Harry couldn’t either. It was futile to even imagine a scenario in which he could casually remark how fit he thought a guy was or be as flamboyant as he sometimes wanted to be. His clothing had been his only way to channel some of what he was feeling, but it was never enough.

“Zayn’s really putting on his A game with Louis.” Liam said after a while, watching the two of them laughing (Harry hadn’t been watching as well, he hadn’t).

“You know Zayn, he’s like that all the time.” He looked at Liam, who still hadn’t taken his eyes from Louis and Zayn. “You two were weird this morning for a bit there, did something happen?”

Liam scoffed, pulling his eyes away. “No, I just thought he had stopped being a jerk, obviously I was wrong.”

“I wouldn’t judge you if you had a crush on him.” Harry said teasingly, and Liam elbowed him in the ribs.

“I’m not twelve, I don’t have crushes.” Liam grumbled.

Harry took out his camera, taking a photo of Zayn and Louis, surrounded by the colourful houses, cobblestone streets, and blue skies. “Can I give you some advice if you did?”

Liam was silent for a moment. “Yes.”

Harry turned his camera and took a photo of Liam, who looked thoughtful, eyebrows furrowed. Liam in his typical state. “A lot of people act a certain way around him because they think that’s how he wants them to act. He’s been with a lot of people, but they’ve never stayed. He’s not going to waste his time with people that only act a certain way to impress him. Why do you think he’s still single?”

“Not gonna lie, I just assumed it was due to his terrible personality.” Liam said, making Harry laugh loudly.

Louis turned his head, a carefree smile on his face, eyes locking with Harry’s. He smiled back at him, and Louis’ eyes crinkled as his smile widened. He turned back as Zayn said something to him, and Harry let out a shaky breath.

“You’ve known him for all of two hours, and you’re already blushing like a teenager in love.” Liam said.

“Being lonely and closeted is not really helping my situation.” Harry muttered, and Liam patted him on the back.

They arrived outside the church, and Harry took a million photos, some of the church, but mostly of his friends, and Louis.

He looked so at ease in his surroundings, and he talked easily with Liam and Zayn, as if he had known them for years. Zayn had reverted to annoying Liam, who was trying to read information about the church on his phone. The sadness was still in his chest, but he was trying to distract himself from it all, in this beautiful town, with his wonderful friends.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Louis asked, having walked over to stand next to Harry.

“It’s wonderful,” Harry agreed, taking in the cream façade and grandiosity of the building. “Have you been to Italy before?”

“Oh no, I’ve never had enough money to go overseas before,” Louis said, laughing. “Been working since I graduated so I could get enough money to stay somewhere over one of the summer breaks. Obviously, you’ve been here before, your Italian is amazing.”

Harry smiled, shaking his head. “It’s not that good, trust me.”

Louis cocked his hip as he crossed his arms, eyes twinkling. “It sounded pretty good when you were talking to me yesterday.”

“Just beginner stuff, you know.” Harry said abashedly.

Louis smiled, shaking his head. “You need to learn how to take a compliment, Harry Styles.”

“My fatal flaw.” Harry replied cheekily, without hesitation. Louis rolled his eyes.

“If that’s your fatal flaw then you’re a god among humans.” Louis said, turning to look at the church.

Zayn and Liam were standing by the entrance of the church when Zayn called out. “Come on you two, let’s go look inside.”

“Stop being so bossy, people can do what they want.” Liam retorted as he followed Zayn into the church.

“Does that mean I can do you? Ow!”

Louis grinned. “Are they always like that?”

Harry sighed, starting to walk to the door. “Since they met yesterday? Yes.”

They walked towards the church, Harry wondering how he was going to contain himself for the rest of the day. Louis had called him a god among humans, but as he glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, Harry could only believe that if he was a god, then Louis had to be one as well.

………….

Spending time with Liam, Zayn, and Harry was addictive: they were all so different and clashed together with laughter, jokes, and insults. Louis had spent time with gay people in Doncaster, but a lot of them were closeted and there was always an element of fear. Louis knew what that was like, how it had consumed every waking moment of his life. He had gone on dates that were two hours away, just to minimise the chance of people he knew seeing him, especially when he became a teacher. He was out by then, but the school didn’t know, and he wanted to keep it that way.

Zayn and Liam carried none of that fear. Liam was not as overt as Zayn, but he and Liam had been switching stories before on some of the terrible dates that they had with guys over the years. Liam looked comfortable in who he was, and Louis loved how it lightened everyone around him, even if they didn’t realise it.

On the other hand, Zayn made sure everyone and everything around him knew that this guy was into everyone and anyone. Louis was quick on his feet, and usually was able to beat Zayn at his own game. He had never met anyone like him.

Harry, though. Louis was unsure what to make of him.

“Harry, take a picture of Liam and I!”

They had walked back down to the beach after having a long lunch at a restaurant that Louis couldn’t afford. Harry had paid, talking in Italian to all the waiters and staff. One waitress took a photo with him, and he was so sweet that Louis had to hide his smile. He was exactly like he had imagined him.

But there was something visibly _missing_ to him. Louis worried that it was him, and felt the worry increase through the day. He said nothing to the others, but he had a distinct feeling that he wouldn’t be seeing them again.

“I’m not going anywhere near you, you overly-sexual fiend.”

“Babe, I only touch people when they want to be touched, now get over here.”

Louis grinned, watching as Liam got close to Zayn begrudgingly. Zayn whispered something to Liam, who nodded; Zayn wrapped an arm around his waist, and Liam rolled his eyes as Harry took pictures of them. Louis was sitting in the sand, admiring the coastline. He had been to the beach a few times in his life, but it had never really been anything that he had loved. But here, in this town filled with luxury and beauty, he could see the appeal.

“Smile, Louis.”

Louis grinned as Harry took his photo, having left Liam and Zayn to bicker playfully by the water. Harry came and sat next to him, getting comfortable in the sand. Even though Louis was not a hundred percent sure what Harry’s deal was, he couldn’t deny that was Harry was beyond gorgeous, especially with the long hair and piercing green eyes.

“Did you want to have a look?” He asked, his voice quiet.

“Yeah, I’d love to.” Louis said, gently taking the camera from his hands.

The last photo that Harry had taken was breathtaking: Louis looked incredibly happy, and surrounded by the cliffs and multi-coloured buildings, it looked like something out of a dream. He smiled down at the camera, beginning to look at the other photos that Harry had taken that day. Harry said nothing as he went through them, Louis’ respect and admiration for Harry rising at the beauty that he managed to capture.

“I like this one,” Louis said, showing Harry one of the photos he had taken in the church, of Louis standing in front of the alter, his head craned up to look at the decorated ceiling. The sun was pouring in either side, basking Louis in light. “You really have an eye for this kind of thing.”

“You look ethereal.” Harry said, and Louis looked at him, not realising that Harry had been looking at him.

There was something in Harry’s eyes, but Louis watched as he closed off again, turning to look at the ocean. Louis bit his lip, continuing to look through the photos. A lot were of Liam and Zayn, some whilst they weren’t paying attention, others silly and completely indicative of their friendship. Louis loved the honesty in the way Harry took pictures.

“How long are you staying in Positano?” Harry asked after a long silence. He was looking down at his hands, playing with one of the rings on his long fingers.

“Two weeks, I’ve got to get back to work when I go back.” Louis said, sighing and bringing his knees to his chest.

He nodded jerkily. “Do you like teaching?”

“The kids are the main reason I’m doing it. Everything else involved with it? Would happily give that up in a day.” Louis said, drawing patterns in the sand.

“What would you do, if you could do anything?” Harry asked, looking at Louis, eyes curious and a sad smile on his face.

Louis smiled, rubbing his stubbled cheek, a habit that he had acquired over the years. “I’ve always wanted to be a songwriter.” He admitted nervously.

Harry’s mouth dropped open before turning into a grin so wide that Louis felt winded. “A songwriter? No way!”

Louis was struggling to breathe but managed to reply. “It’s stupid.”

Harry shook his head vigorously. “It most definitely is not stupid, Louis, that’s amazing! You should do it, I feel like you would be incredible.”

“If I could pay the rent off song-writing, I’d do it in a heartbeat.” Louis said, managing to calm himself down. Harry was managing to make everything around them seem incredibly dim, and Louis was glad that he was able to see the true Harry, even just for this moment.

“It’d be cool if I could hear one of your songs, one day.” Harry said, tucking a stray piece of hair behind his ear.

“I’ll write you a song before I leave.” Louis teased, making Harry laugh.

“I know you’re joking but that would be kind of wonderful.” Harry said, looking boyish and nervous.

Louis stuck out his hand. “Alright Harry Styles, we have a deal. I’ll write you a song to make even the most cold-hearted person swoon.”

Harry’s face was adorned with a grin as he shook Louis’ hand. “We have a deal.”

They were both interrupted by the sound of Liam and Zayn arguing, and the moment ended, even though Louis was pretty sure he was going to remember the look on Harry’s face for the rest of his life.

“Louis, you should come back up with us to the villa, Harry can cook us something nice.” Liam said.

“You should, Liam’s getting rather boring.” Zayn said, winking at him.

“Don’t be an ass, Zayn.” Harry said, but he was smirking, so the serious tone was immediately invalidated.

“You just might be a witness to a murder.” Liam muttered, glaring at Zayn.

Louis smiled, standing up and dusting the sand off him. “I should probably head back, I’m still pretty jet-lagged.”

Harry stood up abruptly. “I’ll walk you back.”

Louis felt his cheeks going red. “Oh, you don’t have to, Harry.”

“Zayn, Liam, can you not kill each other for twenty minutes?” Harry said, dusting himself off.

“Possibly, no guarantees.” Zayn said.

“I might.” Liam said, crossing his arms.

Harry rolled his eyes, smiling. “I’m taking that as a yes.”

“We’ll see you soon, mate.” Liam said, giving Louis a quick hug and a large smile.

“Yes, please let us see your perfect face again.” Zayn said, taking Louis’ hand and brushing his lips against his knuckles.

Louis was beyond flustered. “Ah, okay, sure lads, see you soon.”

Harry cleared his throat loudly. “Alright we’re off, behave yourselves.”

Louis caught up with Harry, trying to piece together why Harry was wanting to walk him home. It was kind, but the sky was still light, and it wasn’t too complicated to get back. Louis settled on the nice notion that Harry simply enjoyed his company.

They didn’t speak much as they walked to Louis’ hotel, but Louis didn’t mind. There was so much to process, and he wasn’t too sure if this day had been real. He couldn’t help but glance at the beautiful man walking beside him, as if he would disappear if he didn’t keep checking on him.

“This is the one.” Louis said, gesturing to the light blue building, stuffing his hands into his pockets, suddenly feeling awkward. Would they hug? Shake hands? Kiss on the cheek? Make out? Louis didn’t know.

Harry looked at the building, a smile coming onto his face. “It looks cosy.”

“The lady’s real nice, no clue what she’s saying, though.” Louis said.

Harry turned to look at Louis. “Um, so there was kind of a reason I wanted to walk you home.”

Louis’ eyebrows rose, and he took in the suddenly shy Harry in front of him. “Yeah?”

He smoothed his hands down his pants, the nervous smile not leaving his face. “So I was thinking, that, uh, tomorrow, we should hang out, catch up at some point? We were thinking of going to this vineyard, it’s not too far, I’ve heard super good things about it.” Harry was rambling, and Louis had never felt so endeared.

“Oh –”

“You don’t have to, of course! You probably have stuff on, stuff planned and things. It’s your holiday, you wouldn’t want to hang out with someone like me, I’m such an idiot, you have things. I should go.” Harry turned to leave, but Louis gently grabbed his wrist, Harry’s head snapping back to look at him.

“You really want me to come?” Louis asked, smiling softly, letting go of him.

Harry was red, looking down at where Louis’ hand had been. “I would, the boys as well.”

Louis grinned. “Pick me up at ten tomorrow, Harry Styles.”

“Okay? Okay, done!” Harry smoothed his hair back, smiling brightly, a dimple appearing in his cheek. Louis was decidedly in love with that dimple. “Ten o’clock, tomorrow morning.”

“Get home safe!” Louis said as Harry turned to walk back down the street.

Harry was still grinning. “You too! Oh wait, you’re already at your home, fuck, okay, I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Louis laughed, waving at him. “Bye, Harry.”

Louis walked inside the hotel, his heart thumping in his chest. He raced up to his room, and looked out the window, watching as Harry near-skipped down the street. He covered his mouth to stop the laugh that was about to escape him.

“Such a dork.” Louis said to himself, feeling incredibly fond and like his heart was about to explode.

He would certainly have to make sure that he looked fit as _fuck_ tomorrow, because there was no way that Louis was going to go to a vineyard with Harry Styles and his two hot friends and not look like a gay god.

Louis opened his suitcase and got to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am beyond excited for Liam's new ep, I'll post the next chapter on the 24th to commemorate!!!!
> 
> let me know what you guys think, I honestly can't express how much I enjoy writing this asdfhjgdkjfahj
> 
> tumblr - harry20gayteen (come talk to me about stuff I just yell in the tags)
> 
> all the love, Sara xx


	5. quattro - il buio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: description of panic attack (just in case <3)

Liam did not sleep that night. He was exhausted, more than he was letting on, but there was this silent anxiety that clawed at his stomach and drove away any notion of sleep. There had been nights like this before, but it had been months since the last episode, and he thought (hoped) that he was in the clear.

It was two in the morning when Liam got out of bed, having decided that it was useless to fight it. The panic attack hadn’t started yet, but it seemed to be building in his chest. He let out a shaky breath and decided to get some water.

The moon was out in full force tonight; the loungeroom was filled with a silver sheen that was so breath taking that Liam momentarily forgot about the tight feeling in his chest. He went to the kitchen, trying quietly to grab a glass, filling it with water and heading out onto the main balcony. The cool air relieved some of the tension, but there was something still there, twisting and pulling at him.

He hated that he had this. Nobody knew about it, and he had worked hard to keep it that way. It had been worse in high school, when he didn’t even realise he was gay and people had brashly made his life a living hell. He shuddered at the thought now, the shame that he had battled every day. The panic attacks had started then, and he would be so overcome with the fear and the guilt that he wouldn’t be able to move for hours, stuck in a vortex of self-hatred.

The panic attacks came now for different reasons, some easy to pick, others seemingly coming from nowhere. Liam knew where the anxiety was coming from, even though he had been resolute in his decision it was eating him up inside. He had no control over the situation, and he was struggling to figure out what to do, how he could stop this before it ruined Harry’s life.

His throat was starting to close, and he struggled to maintain calm, trying to remember the techniques that his therapist had told him. Deep breathing, focusing on an object, finding an anchor – but the panic was setting in and he tried to focus on the water, on the glass, on the smooth texture in his hands.

God, but _he couldn’t breathe –_

“Liam?”

Liam was trying to suck in air, only partially aware that there was someone on the balcony with him. There were tears running down his face as he slowly slid to the ground, trying to slow his breathing down, trying to do what his therapist had told him. But all he could think about was the look on Harry’s face when he would have to tell him that it was happening again, that Andrew had lined up another girl.

“Babe, fuck, tell me how I can help you, please.”

He looked up, still gasping for air. Zayn was kneeling in front of him, his eyes wide. Liam felt another wave of panic, the sobs racking his chest making it harder to concentrate. He never wanted anyone to see him like this, so vulnerable. Especially Zayn. God, why wasn’t it Harry?

Zayn took his hands, holding them firmly. “Liam, I’m here. You are safe. I am going to stay until it passes. Okay? I’ve got you.”

Liam tried to focus on Zayn’s voice, but he was still crying. “I can’t breathe, Zayn.” He managed to say.

“You can breathe, babe,” Zayn said, not letting go of Liam’s hands. “Start slow, with me.”

Zayn was breathing too quickly, and as stupid as it was, Liam felt a part of him calm down at how silly Zayn looked in this moment. “That’s not how you do it.”

Zayn paused, an incredulous smile appearing on his face. “Are you seriously critiquing me on helping you during a panic attack?”

“Yes, you suck.” Liam said breathily, feeling the panic slowly ebb, taking long, deep breaths. His chest hurt.

He was still holding Liam’s hands, and he used that pressure as his anchor to bring himself back to calm, the tears having finally come to a stop. Liam looked at Zayn’s tattooed hands, admiring how beautiful the tattoos looked on his slender hands. They all interwove to tell a story that he didn’t quite understand but focusing on each tattoo was enough to feel like he could breathe again.

“Babe?”

Liam looked up at Zayn, whose face held none of the cockiness from earlier today and instead only displayed worry. It was comforting in a selfish way, Liam thought, to see him vulnerable when he felt like he had just exposed his most disgusting secret.

“I’m sorry.” Liam whispered. His body felt heavy with fatigue, the fear and energy from the panic attack leaving him with a husk of a body.

“The last thing you need to do is apologise.” Zayn said softly. He was still holding Liam’s hands.

They sat in silence for a while, Liam looking at the spilt glass of water whilst trying to ignore the fact that was Zayn was staring. It was too much to think about now, especially with the panic attack inducing issue on his mind. He wanted to forget tonight. Maybe not how Zayn’s hands felt in his, but every other part.

“I’ll help you to bed, come on.” Zayn stood up, slowly bringing Liam up with him. He let go of Liam’s hands, but put an arm around his waist, shouldering most of his weight. Liam wrapped his arm around Zayn’s shoulders, feeling so weak and tired.

“Not going to make a sexual joke?” Liam mumbled as they walked through the villa to Liam’s room.

“Maybe tomorrow, can’t have good banter when you’re half asleep, babe.” Zayn said, chuckling softly.

“We don’t have banter.” Liam said weakly, but he was smiling, and he knew Zayn could see the smile on his face.

“Keep telling yourself that, pretty boy.”

Zayn opened the door to Liam’s room, leading him to the bed. He let Liam go, and they stared at each other. He was trying to figure out how to apologise and say thank you, but the words were stuck in his throat. He wasn’t used to Zayn being like this.

“Get some sleep, Liam.” Zayn said, smiling. “I’ll wake you in the morning.”

Liam nodded, biting his lip. “Don’t tell Harry.”

Zayn looked surprised but nodded. “I won’t. Goodnight.”

“Night.” Liam replied, watching Zayn as he walked out the door and closed it behind him.

He sat down on his bed, taking off the t-shirt that was now drenched in sweat. He didn’t want to think about the panic attack, because even though it was over there was nothing stopping it from coming back. Zayn wouldn’t hear him gasping on his bedroom floor, wouldn’t be able to calm him by holding his hands.

Zayn.

Liam was too tired to feel surprised, but it made him feel warm all over that he hadn’t made a joke of him, even though he knew that Zayn wouldn’t do that to him. It was easy to label Zayn as a jerk due to his flirty and promiscuous manner, but it was unfair of him to do so. Liam hated stereotypes, but he had been quick to push one on Zayn, and he cursed softly to himself, sitting in the semi-darkness of his room.

He had been trying not to think about the beach, because Zayn had whispered _is this okay?_ before wrapping his arm around Liam, and it was such an act of common decency that he had felt himself turning into mush afterward. Not that Zayn had stopped annoying Liam with the flirty suggestions, but it had shifted his whole perspective.

As he laid down on top of his sheets, Liam wondered if something like this would happen every night. Would he uncover Zayn piece by piece, until he was privy to all the things that no one but his close friends were witness to? It made his heart race a little, but it terrified him, and he tried to shake off the feeling.

There had been an ex-boyfriend, who was closeted at the time and who became controlling within a short period of them being together. Liam had been in relationships before, but he was so stunned that someone as beautiful as his ex-boyfriend wanted to be with him, so he brushed most of the issues aside.

Liam had broken up with him the day he had gotten the job as Harry’s assistant. Andrew did not know that Liam was gay, and, like his anxiety, he wanted to keep it that way. Staying with Harry was not only staying with a management team that exploited its stars, but it was also a decision on Liam’s part that he would probably not be able to have any public relationships.

If it came down to it, Liam would have to pick Harry over Zayn every time.

He fell into a fitful sleep, the anxiety making him wake up sporadically until the sun started to rise. His body was pulling him in a million directions, begging for sleep and screaming at him to listen to the disruptive thoughts in his mind. How would he tell Harry the news? Liam’s heart clenched, because he had seen the way that Harry was looking at Louis, and he knew that it was going to be a fucking shit storm.

The sun was creeping over the horizon, and Liam had given up hope. He stared at the ceiling, his hands settling on his bare stomach. He had been practicing meditation, but his body felt like a coiled wire, ready to snap and cause all sorts of havoc.

His door creaked opened, and he nearly jumped out of bed at seeing Zayn there, wearing a long-sleeved sheer top and baggy tracksuit pants. He had bags under his eyes, looking like Liam felt.

“Did you sleep?” He asked, voice thick and husky.

“No, not really.” Liam paused, looking at Zayn standing there. “You should come in, so we don’t wake Harry.”

Zayn nodded and walked in, closing the door softly. Liam moved to make room, and Zayn shuffled over to the bed, near collapsing next to Liam, laying on his back. He tried not to smile, but it was creeping across his face.

“Obviously you didn’t sleep either.” Liam said softly, having sat up, legs crossed. He was trying not to stare at the tattoos that he could vaguely see through the sheer top.

Zayn looked at him, a groggy smile coming onto his face. “I was worried about you.”

Liam felt his cheeks go red. “Shut up.”

The smile faded into a frown, his eyebrows knitting together. Zayn’s eyes were searching his face; for what, Liam didn’t know. “Did you want to talk about it?” He asked, softly.

Liam shook his head, letting out a deep sigh. “Not really.”

Zayn’s hand moved towards Liam for a moment, before he hesitated and put it back. Liam didn’t miss it, and his heart was thudding in his chest. He definitely couldn’t do this. “That’s okay.” Zayn whispered.

“How did you know I was gay? You barely know me.” Liam asked after a couple of minutes of silence.

Zayn grinned, and then yawned loudly, rubbing his eyes. “I could just tell, you were blushing from the moment you saw me. Can’t blame you, of course. But yeah, you have a lot of gay energy, babe.”

Liam rolled his eyes, yawning and laying down so that the two of them were facing each other. “I was not blushing at all, you’re wrong. And also, that’s bullshit.”

The light morning sun was falling on Zayn’s face, his dark eyes showing flecks of gold. The beard was such a good look on him, and Liam couldn’t help but stare. Is this what he couldn’t have? Mornings staring at the one thing that made him happiest? Well, Zayn drove him insane, but he was still beautiful beyond belief.

“Harry might have told me beforehand.” Zayn mumbled, a small smile on his face.

“Of course.” Liam said, making Zayn laugh quietly. “What time is it?”

“Six, still another two hours before Harry gets up.” His eyes were drooping, and Liam felt his eyes starting to close as well.

“Are you gonna fall asleep here?”

“We could do more than sleep here if you wanted.” It was a whisper, with no real effort in it.

Liam had to bite his lip to stop the smile. “It’s too early in the morning for that, Zayn.”

“I don’t know what kind of sex you’re having, but you can have sex anytime, babe.” Zayn could barely keep his eyes open, but he looked smug as he looked through his lashes at Liam.

“Know that, idiot.” Liam muttered.

They were quiet for a few moments, Liam struggling to stay awake, wanting to remember this moment, with the golden light falling on Zayn and his beautiful face. His body was finally ready for sleep, now that he wanted it the least.

“I really was worried about you, Liam.”

Liam opened his eyes, and saw the look on Zayn’s face, his heart melting. He didn’t know what to say, so they both shuffled a little closer to each other, not touching but appreciating being close to somebody that cared about the other. Liam slept and dreamt simply of talking to Zayn for hours and hours. Like Harry, Liam was very screwed.

………….

Zayn dreamt of Liam as well. They held hands as they walked through a park. Zayn had never felt safer, nor more loved.

………….

Harry instead dreamt of complicated things, fear and happiness threading through his dream in equal parts. He woke before his alarm, and went and showered, his mind occupied by Louis. He had always been quick to develop feelings for people; it didn’t take much, a true smile, a lingering touch, a moment of honesty. Before he had begun his singing career, it had been easy to let himself be fully immersed with it all, kissing unknown boys in clubs and sneaking out of his house to meet with his then boyfriend, Luke.

It had been simpler then. But Harry had always dreamed of making music, and that drove him more than anything. He had created a YouTube channel, singing cover after cover, and eventually some of his own original works. The channel was gone now, having instead being replaced by his official account that was run by Andrew. Erased.

With a towel wrapped around his long hair on top of his head, Harry went down to Zayn’s room, wanting someone to talk to in the lonely hours of the morning. He frowned as he saw the door was open, and found that the bed was empty, looking like it had been barely slept in. Harry looked down the corridor to where Liam’s bedroom door was shut.

“Surely not.” Harry whispered to himself, but he wouldn’t have been too surprised, if he was honest with himself.

He gently eased open Liam’s door, and felt his mouth drop open at the scene before him. Zayn and Liam were sleeping next to each other, clothed, and not touching. It was such a sweet sight, Harry thought, smiling slightly. He felt it in his chest, how much he wanted this.

Harry closed the door, heading into the kitchen. It looked like it was going to be a glorious day, filled with good wine and even better company. It definitely wouldn’t matter that Louis didn’t know that he was gay, and he could have a good time without expressing that. He sighed as he poured himself a bowl of cereal. Well, he would have to be content with it.

“Harry, why’re you awake?”

Mid-bite, Harry looked up, seeing Zayn sleepily rubbing his eyes. Harry raised his eyebrows, finishing chewing before answering.

“Couldn’t sleep. Saw your bedroom door was open.” He said slyly as Zayn came and sat down at the dining table, slouching in a manner that was devoid of his usual grace.

“I slept walked into Liam’s room, and I must’ve stayed there.” Zayn mumbled, looking unfazed by Harry’s line of questioning.

“Since when do you sleep walk?” Harry muttered, shoving another spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

Zayn smirked lazily. “Since I knew I wanted to get into Liam’s bed.”

Harry choked a little on his cereal, batting his chest as he coughed. “Don’t be like that this early in the morning, please.” He managed to say after the coughing had subsided. “So you didn’t sleep with Liam?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Babe, you would have heard us, trust me.”

Harry scrunched up his face. “Ew, I don’t want to think of that! Can you not have sex when I’m here, please.”

Zayn laughed, shaking his head. “My poor innocent little Harry, trust me you’ll know one day.”

There was silence for a moment as the words hung in the air. “I will,” He said quietly. “Can I ask you about Liam, though.”

“Fire away.” Zayn started fiddling with a loose thread on his sleeve.

“Do you have feelings for him?” Harry asked gently, noting how Zayn was blatantly avoiding eye-contact at this point.

“I barely know the guy, how could I have feelings for him?” Zayn replied smoothly.

“That doesn’t really answer my question.” Harry pointed out.

Zayn looked out the window, to where the sky was turning bright blue with the morning sun. “He’s fit as fuck, yeah. Do I see anything happening? Probably not. It’s too messy, I can tell how much you both need each other.”

“You still didn’t answer my question.” Harry said quietly, trying to understand what was going through his best friend’s head.

Zayn turned his eyes to him, and they were filled with an indescribable emotion that nearly broke Harry’s heart. “No, I don’t have feelings for him.”

Harry nodded, getting up to go wash his cereal bowl. “You’ll find someone one day, bub.”

Zayn grunted, running his hand through his short hair. “I’ll be finding someone new every day, don’t you worry.”

“You should probably talk to a therapist about that.” Harry said, fixing the towel as it was beginning to slide off his head.

“I see a therapist every week, babe. You know, the depression and anxiety?” Zayn yawned.

“And you didn’t tell me?” Harry spun around, crossing his arms. He had known about both of those things, had quietly urged Zayn to talk to someone about it. Not that Harry took his own advice, but he was also contractually obligated to not reveal his gayness and being closeted was kind of causing all the issues. “You know I would be the last person in the world to judge you about that.”

Zayn smiled sheepishly, shrugging. “I didn’t know you wanted to know.”

Harry walked over to Zayn and wrapped him in a hug from his side. “Of course I want to know, you’re my best friend.” Harry mumbled.

Zayn returned the hug, holding Harry tightly. “Love you, Harry.”

“Love you too. Now, I’m going to wake up Liam, you stay here and try to not annoy him.” He stretched as he walked to Liam’s room, and was surprised to see Liam standing in the corridor, leaning against the wall, staring at his phone. He jumped when Harry cleared his throat.

“How long have you been standing there?” Harry asked, eyebrows raised.

Liam blushed. “Not long.” He looked at the towel that was still wrapped around Harry’s head. “Since when do you dry your hair like that?”

“For ages,” Harry huffed. “Did you… did you hear anything?”

Liam shook his head, eyes going back down to his phone. “Nah, like I said, haven’t been here that long.”

There was something off in the way that Liam was avoiding eye contact with him. Harry wondered why his best friend and assistant were so keen on being secretive, and he would be lying if he said that it didn’t hurt a little. His head started to spin with all the possibilities, but they were all stupid and Harry trusted Liam and Zayn with his life.

“You should start getting ready, need to look good for Louis today.” Liam said teasingly, and Harry felt his neck grow hot.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Harry said, stuttering slightly.

Liam’s smirk turned into a softer smile, and he grasped Harry’s shoulder. “Just don’t go falling in love with him, okay?”

Harry laughed, forcefully. “That’s the last thing I would do, trust me.”

Liam left and walked into the kitchen, which was met by an unsavoury remark from Zayn and a sharp retort from Liam. It looked like things hadn’t changed at all, Harry thought as he went to his room, unwrapping the towel from his head, carefully beginning to dry the rest of his hair.

He went out onto the balcony, lounging on one of the beach chairs. Harry wondered if it was really that simple, to choose to not to fall in love with someone. He had loved Luke, and maybe a part of it had been a choice, but for the most part Harry had just watched it happen, unable to believe how much it consumed him. When Harry broke up with him, he had remembered the love still being there after he hadn’t seen Luke in months, how it had found it’s way into parts of himself that he still didn’t know, nor understand.

Harry hadn’t felt like that again in a long time. It had been easier to distance himself from the people that he could potentially care about; it was easier for them (and for him) to not have to deal with the heartbreak that dating a closeted famous man like Harry Styles involved. There were plenty of other available gay men out there.

Positano looked breathtaking from where he lay. Harry looked at it, and felt the resolve begin to strengthen within him. He could not fall in love with someone, no matter how beautiful or wonderful they may seem. How hard could it be to not fall in love with someone that he barely knew?

Harry stayed out on the balcony for a bit longer, letting the morning sun dry whatever was left of his wet hair. He thought about his upcoming tour instead, and despite whatever Andrew had concocted for him, he felt genuine excitement about being on the stage again. There was nothing more special than being in a room that was filled with unconditional love and singing his heart out and knowing that they appreciated it more than he could possibly fathom.

There was a wedding after the holiday ended, but he had been allowed to bring Zayn and Liam, so he knew that he would be able to fathom it. Weddings were always beautiful, filled with drunk family and friends and the bedazzling love from the newly-weds. He had been to a wedding two months ago and had to go hide in the bathroom due to the tears that were streaming down his face.

Love. Harry craved it more than anything, even more with every passing year. When he first started his fans had been so young, but when he looked into the crowd at his last show, he had been overcome by how they had all grown up with him, some with partners, and even some with children. He could barely believe it all.

Harry got up and sighed, looking out onto the horizon. It would only be two hours now until he went down to Louis’ hotel and picked him up, and he tried to dismiss all the memories of yesterday. They had just met, and Harry would have plenty of opportunities in his long and successful life to fall in love. Besides, they both led extremely different lives and there would be no way in hell that it would work out. So, there was that.

“I will not fall in love with Louis,” Harry said confidently, hands on hips as he surveyed Positano, a prince in his own right. There would be nothing that could change his mind (or more accurately, his heart). “Not in a chance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first time ep aka one of the best things to happen to 2018
> 
> let me know what you guys think, I say this every chapter but I adore writing this with all my heart, I'm a little emotional about Liam's ep (like home with you?? wow I'm a mess)
> 
> tumblr - harry20gayteen
> 
> all the love, Sara xx


	6. cinque - il vino bianco

Harry stood outside Louis’ hotel at ten, casually leaning against a lamppost, his shaking hands in his pockets. Yes, he had decidedly committed to not falling in love with Louis, but it didn’t mean that he wasn’t nervous or that he wasn’t thinking about how to not show any interest. He cursed under his breath, wondering why it mattered; Louis didn’t know he was gay.

He had decided on a wide-leg black pants, along with a bell-sleeved loose cream top (which had plenty of frills). Zayn had casually commented that he looked like a hot pirate, and it taken Liam fifteen minutes to convince Harry to not go get changed. He decided to take the first part of Zayn’s compliment and run with it. That’s all he could really do, anyway.

The door to the hotel opened, and out Louis came. Harry was sure that his whole body was on fire.

He was wearing tight skinny jeans, which were bad enough, but Harry couldn’t get over the fact that he was wearing a deep red _crop top_ and he could see the stretch of tan skin between the jeans and the top. It was too tantalising to look at, and Harry tried to focus on Louis’ face.

Which, in hindsight, was not any better; his hair was messily styled, the scruff on his cheeks highlighting his sharp jaw and showing off his gorgeous smile. Harry was trying to remember if knew anyone that had eyes as blue as Louis’.

“Hey Harry, how are you?” Louis said, walking over and wrapping Harry in a quick hug. Harry barely had time to register the sensation of Louis’ arms around him before it was gone.

“Um yeah, I’m great.” Harry gestured at Louis’ top, trying not to stare. “Your top, it’s nice.”

Louis smiled shyly, looking down at himself. “S’alright for where we’re going, yeah?”

Harry couldn’t help but smile. “It’s great, it’s different.”

A laugh escaped Louis’ lips, his eyes sparkling. “I always wanted to wear crop tops when I was younger. Only took me fifteen years to wear one with confidence.”

Harry felt his chest tighten. This was already so _fucking_ hard. “I can’t imagine, it’s good that you feel comfortable enough to express yourself.”

Louis rocked on his heels, thumbs hooked through the belt loops on his jeans. “I’m glad too. So where are Zayn and Liam?”

“They’re waiting for us down near the beach, there’s a bus that goes up to the vineyard.” Harry gestured behind him, and Louis nodded.

“Better head off, they might have torn each other’s heads off.” Louis said, chuckling.

Harry sighed as the began to walk. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

They walked in silence for a couple of minutes, the sounds of people lazily making their way out of their homes and coming to life filled the streets. Harry had seen beautiful places in his life, and he adored that he could explore Positano in the way that was so carefree and allowed him to experience it so effortlessly.

Harry bad brought the polaroid camera today, which was tucked in his messenger bag. He was itching to take it out and take a photo of Louis, but he also remembered his promise to himself, and he had to bury it deep within his chest. They could all take photos together later in a very platonic way, Harry reasoned to himself.

“Idiot,” Harry muttered to the sky, cursing his inner dialogue.

“Did you say something?” Louis asked, and Harry felt his cheeks begin to burn.

“Oh no, well yes, I was just muttering to myself, you know, as a typical crazy popstar.” Harry wanted to smash his face into a wall.

Louis raised an eyebrow, the corners of his lips turning upward. “Never would’ve guessed that.” He said, shaking his head slightly.

Harry was mentally cursing himself. How did manage to act like a complete and utter fool so easily? Surely no one could manage the ease and mastery he had of looking like a buffoon. It also always seemed to happen in front of very pretty men unfortunately, and he was in the presence of one of the most beautiful men he had ever seen.

The beach was in sight, and Harry thanked the heavens. Maybe he could be vaguely normal with Zayn and Liam there as a buffer, but as he glanced at Louis, he was pretty sure that he was going to be a mess. Maybe some white wine would help.

“Also, I just wanted to say thank you for inviting me today, I would have no clue about anything to do here.” Louis said suddenly, Harry’s head turning so fast to look at Louis that he thought he heard a crack.

Harry smiled as Louis looked at him, all confidence and kindness. “You might not want to thank me yet, Liam might strangle Zayn with a vine.” Harry said, and Louis bit his lip to stop the smile that looked like it was threatening to spill across his face.

“It’s good, hanging out with Liam and Zayn,” Louis said matter-of-factly. “It’s nice to be around people that are unapologetically themselves.”

Harry felt the words slam into his chest like a tonne of bricks. He had to look away, and he knew he had to reply, to not show how hurt he was feeling. “Yes, I agree.” The words barely come out of his mouth, but he could hear how sad he felt and knew that he had failed.

“I’ve got gay friends back home, of course, but Liam and Zayn are so wonderful and funny, and you can tell that they are both pining for each other hard, it’s hilarious –” Louis continued to talk, looking like a child on Christmas morning. Harry tried to listen, but he was so fixated on Louis’ words about people being unapologetically themselves, and he wanted to go have some wine and not think about why this hurt as much as it did.

Zayn and Liam were leaning against the car, a considerable distance between them even though they were talking. He fell behind slightly as Louis stopped talking and went to hug Liam and Zayn, the widest grin on his face. Harry could feel his heart being torn to shreds, right there and then.

“I’m so glad you came today,” Zayn said, arm around Louis’ waist. “Sit next to me on the bus, yeah?”

Louis’ eyes flickered to Harry’s for a moment before looking back to Zayn, a stunning smile on his face. “Of course.”

Liam rolled his eyes. “We should get going, it’s going to leave soon.”

They walked to the bus, and Harry felt like he was suddenly drowning. He wanted to talk to Liam or Zayn, but he couldn’t, and he felt irrationally alone as Liam walked beside him, his eyes trailed on Zayn and Louis walking together.

They arrived at the bus, and Harry slid his sunglasses on, unsure if anyone would recognise him. He took a deep breath as they boarded, not looking at Louis and Zayn as he sat down behind them with Liam. He could feel Liam’s gaze, but he couldn’t bear it. Not right now.

“Are you okay? You’ve been quiet.” Liam gently poked him in his side, and Harry mustered up a smile.

“Just an off day.” Harry said, and Liam leant his head on Harry’s shoulder. He felt the tears begin to well up in his eyes.

The ride to the vineyard was beautiful, and Harry got lost in the beauty that he was surrounded with. He hoped that they would be able to go swimming sometime soon, to feel that clear water on his skin. Maybe then he would feel all his worries leaving his body.

Liam seemed content to be silent, and Harry had never felt so grateful for the intimacy that they shared. It dulled the loneliness, to know that someone cared about him, that they were willing to lean up against him and not be disgusted. Harry was suddenly glad that he had brought his sunglasses.

“Harry, how old were we went we met again?”

Harry snapped out of his daze, his eyes glued on the ocean. “Huh?”

Zayn had turned in his seat, looking at Harry through the gap in the chair. “Were we thirteen when we met? Or was it earlier?”

Harry smiled slightly, bopping Zayn’s nose, much to his annoyance. “Twelve.”

“See Louis, I’ve known Harry since I was awkward and didn’t understand that I didn’t _have_ to be straight.” Zayn said, and Harry could see his eyes flickering to Liam.

“That’s kind of super sweet.” Louis said, and Harry had to look out the window again, because he couldn’t afford to once again be seriously affected by what Louis said.

“So was Zayn always a little shit or was that just in recent years?” Liam asked Harry, his head still on Harry’s shoulder.

Harry chuckled, and he could see that Louis had turned to look back at them both, a soft smile on his face. “He was alright for a while, it got worse the more he realised that everyone was prone to falling in love with him.”

“I’d like to say that’s wrong, but he’s right.” Zayn sighed, which made Louis giggle and Liam roll his eyes dramatically.

“I’m sure Harry was a complete angel as a child,” Louis said, and Harry was once again glad for the sunglasses, not able to deal with the direct eye contact that Louis was currently giving him.

“Now that I can believe.” Liam mumbled, trying to stifle a yawn.

“No time for sleep babe, we’re about to arrive,” Zayn cooed, and Liam flipped him off. “Anyway, Harry has always been an angel, and will continue to be for the rest of the time.”

“I’m going to remember your kind words when you’re insulting me next.” Harry said, getting up as the bus doors opened and people started to file out.

Harry felt his breath catch in his throat as he stepped off the bus. They were up in the hills, with a breath-taking view of the Amalfi Coast. He got his polaroid camera out, wanting to capture this moment; he didn’t want to forget this moment of awe that he was feeling.

“Come on Harry, plenty of time for photos later.” Zayn said, bumping him with his hip as he walked past.

Liam and Zayn had started walking ahead, Liam rehearsing what he was going to say to the waiter, and Zayn interrupting with unhelpful comments on Liam’s Italian. Harry sighed, knowing that they were going to be painful today. Not even Louis’ presence could tamper their bickering.

Speaking of Louis, Harry noticed that he was waiting for him, and hurried to walk beside him. Louis’ words were still clawing at his insides, but he wanted to show Louis that he was better than whatever his first impression of him had been. He wanted Louis to know that he was so much _more._

“How many fancy cameras do you have?” Louis asked, gesturing at Harry’s camera.

“Uh, I’ve got three, I think.” Harry said, running a hand through his hair. “Depends on my mood, I suppose, this one’s a bit more fun.”

Louis nodded, looking pensive. “I would have no idea how that would feel, to be able to buy whatever I want.”

God, there it was again. The knife to his heart. Harry swallowed, hard. “I am extremely lucky, not many people have the opportunities that I have.” He said quietly.

Louis’ eyes widened, and he covered his mouth with his hands. “Oh no, that sounded bad, I didn’t mean it like that.” He said, his voice having gone up a little bit.

Harry smiled slightly, looking down at his feet. “No, it’s okay, you’re not wrong.”

“You must think I’m a proper ass, or just a right dickhead. I’m really sorry, that wasn’t fair.” Louis said, the embarrassment and worry clear on his face

“I think if anyone’s an ass here it’s me.” Harry replied, not wanting Louis to be upset, or to see how beautiful he still was when he was frowning.

“Harry Styles shut up and accept my apology, please.”

Harry couldn’t resist, a complicated smile on his face. “Okay, I accept your apology.”

Louis let out a sigh of relief. “I can’t say anything right around you, it’s seriously embarrassing.”

Harry was about to reply, but they were about to enter the restaurant and he could see Liam struggling to communicate with the waiter. He left aside his current struggles and plastered a confident but appeasing smile on his face. He walked towards Liam, taking off his sunglasses and tucking them into his hair.

“Cena? No, pranzo! Per quattro?” Liam was stuttering over his words, his cheeks bright red. The waiter looked extremely confused.

Harry stood beside Liam, placing a hand on his back, the faux confidence he had practiced a million times coming into full effect. “Buongiorno, abbiamo un appuntomento alle undici e mezza, il nome per il prenotazione e` Styles.”

The waiter grinned. “Benissimo, signor Styles. Viene con me, abbiamo un tavolo spettacolo per Lei e i suoi amici!”

“Oh thank fuck Harry, that was so embarrassing.” Liam muttered, and Harry wrapped his arm around Liam’s waist, squeezing him.

“You were cute, babe.” Zayn said as they walked to the table, which was located on a large balcony that overlooked the sea. “Shit, this is amazing!”

“You did your best, you should be proud for trying.” Harry said, and Liam smiled nervously, swatting him on the arm.

“Stop being so nice to me, you’re supposed to be a terrible boss, so I can tell all my friends funny stories about you.” Liam said, a twinkle in his eye.

Zayn laughed. “I have plenty of amusing stories that I can tell you about Harry Styles.”

“Not today, Zayn.” Harry glared at Zayn, who had the cheekiest smile on his face. Damn Zayn.

They sat down, Louis sitting across from Harry, Liam on his left and Zayn across from him. Harry was unsure how he was supposed to not look at Louis, especially now that he was stretching his arms above his head, his toned stomach on display. The waiter was putting menus in front of them, and he heard Zayn order them white wine, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the beautiful human in front of him. He felt Liam elbow him in the side, and he quickly turned his head, embarrassed. He really had been _that_ obvious about it.

The table was one of the best, and Harry had been quick the night before to make sure that he got the most beautiful spot in the whole restaurant. The sun was shining, and it wasn’t unbearably hot yet, and Harry thought he could hear the crashing of the waves over the chattering of people at nearby tables.

“So, Zayn,” Louis said, a sparkle in his eye as he looked around the table. “Are you going to tell us these wonderful stories about Harry? I’d love to hear them.”

Zayn laughed. “I don’t know, do I really want to piss off the guy that’s paying for lunch?” He said, winking at Harry.

He rolled his eyes. “Since when I am paying?”

“Well you never let anyone else pay, you goodie two shoes.” Liam said, smiling fondly at him.

“How dare you join Zayn’s side, you’re _my_ assistant, thank you very much.” Harry grumbled, but there was a smile on his face and he couldn’t hide it.

Zayn blew Liam a kiss, a blush creeping up Liam’s neck. “You picked the right side, babe.”

“Shut up.” Liam replied reflexively, and Harry had to supress his laughter, especially at Zayn’s smug face and the smirk on Louis’ face.

“I reckon I’d like to shout lunch, if that’s okay.” Louis declared, looking Harry in the eye as he said it.

“No way, you’re my guest.” Harry replied hurriedly.

“Proved my previous point.” Liam muttered, hi-fiving Zayn with a grin on his face.

“And possessive much? Louis is our friend as well.” Zayn said, looking proud as Liam snorted in amusement.

Harry could have dissolved into a puddle right then, gaping at Zayn like a stunned fish, grasping the table’s edge with one of his hands, sure he was about to die of embarrassment. “Zayn!”

“Don’t be mean to him,” Louis scolded playfully, before turning and patting Harry’s hand that was gripping the table. “You’re sweet Styles, but you lads have been so nice to me, you’ve got to let me say thanks somehow.”

Louis’ brief touch had been enough to send Harry’s body into a whirlwind of emotion; he had never felt like this when a ‘girlfriend’ had held his hands, or when they had kissed in front of the cameras. It was always the same. It was always nothing.

“You gorgeous thing, you are a joy to be around and you don’t need to pay for anything.” Zayn said, beaming.

“There has to be something I could do.” Louis huffed, opening the menu and squinting at it. “Fuck, why do I forget I can’t read Italian?”

“I can help, if you want.” Harry said, a little too eagerly, his heart beating a little too fast in his chest.

Louis looked up with an adorable smile on his face. “Come here, Styles.”

“Hey, I don’t know how to read Italian either.” Liam said, pouting dramatically at Harry as he got up and squatted next to Louis.

Zayn opened his menu, a sly look on his face as he gracefully flipped the pages. “I understand this all perfectly babe, come sit on my lap and I’ll read it to you.”

Liam screwed his face up in disgust. “Even for you, that was fucking terrible. Just read me the goddamn menu.”

“God I’m glad I don’t have to stay with those two.” Louis muttered to Harry, who couldn’t help but laugh quietly.

“Sometimes they’re okay, it depends how horny Zayn is.” Harry said, sighing as he watched Liam and Zayn bickering, once again.

Louis raised an eyebrow. “Horny is the first vaguely naughty word I’ve heard you say, I’m amazed.”

Harry was stuck in Louis’ eyes. “No, I said fuck yesterday.”

Louis laughed then, loud and happy and crinkly-eyed and Harry was utterly smitten with the man in front of him. “Wow Harry, ten points to you, you said fuck!”

“Hey, I do swear.” Harry mumbled, knowing that he looked as coy as he felt. “Now do you want help with the menu or not?”

“Please, I don’t want to accidentally order duck liver or something.” Louis said, biting his lip as Harry read through the menu, working hard to translate some of the things in his mind.

“Hmmm, there’s a beef dish with polenta and red sauce, I had it before I went vegetarian and it was lovely.” Harry said, pointing at the item on the menu. He was still squatting beside Louis, and it wasn’t because of how close he could be to Louis. Absolutely not. “I can order it for you, don’t worry.”

“That’s cool, I didn’t know you were vegetarian.” Louis said softly.

Harry shrugged. “It’s a new thing, haven’t really talked about it a lot.”

“Since when did you become a vegetarian? How did I not know this?” Zayn said, having overheard their conversation and butting his way in.

“I knew.” Liam said, smiling jovially at a waiter who had finally brought the wine. “Grazie.”

Harry got up and sat back down, accidentally brushing Louis’ arm with his hand as he did so. He hadn’t meant it, and he tried to ignore Louis looking at him as he accepted his own glass of wine from the waiter. “Grazie mille.”

“How am I your best friend and I know nothing about you?” Zayn whined, taking a sip of the wine. “This is amazing, Liam have you tried it?”

“You’re so dramatic Zayn,” Liam said, but Harry could see the fondness building in his eyes as he tasted his own wine. “Oh, this is _good_.”

The waiter came over and Harry suavely ordered for them all, sure to express his gratitude to the waiter for being patient with them all. He saw the waiter leave with a blush on his face and felt something almost akin to pride in his chest. He could have that, if he wanted. One day, he would be able to.

He turned back to the table, and once again Louis was watching him, a curious look on his face as he finished off his glass of wine. Harry felt all the confidence he had crumbling to nothing under his blue gaze, and he had to look at Liam, who was being pestered by Zayn about his last love interest.

“Come on babe, I just want to know your type,” Zayn said, voice seductive and his dark eyes sparkling.

“I don’t have a type, it depends on the guy and how he treats me.” Liam said, smirking as Zayn huffed with annoyance.

“Okay, so is Louis your type?” Zayn asked, and Harry thanked the powers that be that Louis finally moved his gaze away from him.

There was something piercing about Louis’ gaze that had Harry worried. He had never really been that good at keeping secrets, and even though not keeping this secret about his sexuality meant losing all that he worked for in his music career, it didn’t make him want to be out any less. Harry could tell that Louis was very good at seeing through bullshit, and Harry was bullshit-central. There was also a part of him that didn’t want Louis to think that he was a liar, and he couldn’t bear to think of his reaction if he found out.

Liam leant back in his chair, looking smug. “Oh, Louis is _definitely_ my type, babe.”

For once Zayn seemed to be lost for words, Louis seeming to not notice, laughing loudly. Zayn cleared his throat as he and Liam stared at each other. “I think Louis is everyone’s type.” He said, voice low.

Harry felt like he was intruding on a weird moment but looking at Louis meant that he would have to admire his beautiful face and he could already feel the consequences of their brief acquaintance. How would Harry be able to not think of Louis when he was alone or when he went back to London? He longed for what he couldn’t have, and Louis was the personification of that desire.

“Shut up you two, I can’t deal with these compliments.” Louis said, shaking his head.

“Oh wait, I’ve just had the best idea on how you could repay us.” Zayn said, clapping his hands together, his eyes not leaving Liam.

“Zayn, will I have to abandon you at this restaurant if you say what you’re going to say?” Harry said wearily, not liking the near-evil look in his eye, particularly as Liam looked confused and Louis intrigued.

Zayn turned his head to Louis, a smirk on his face as he did so. “Louis, I think you should have a threesome with Liam and I.”

“Zayn you are so embarrassing for fuck’s sake –”

“Holy fucking shit –”

“ _Zayn Malik I am going to MURDER you, you fucking asshole!_ ”

………….

Not counting the moment that Liam nearly flipped the table in a complete rage, Louis had never had so much fun. His face hurt from laughing, and he was currently trying not to laugh as Liam spoke about Harry and all the silly things he did. Liam’s arm was wrapped casually around his waist, and Zayn was leaning up against the wall, not speaking but watching on with a smile that Louis could only describe as warm.

“Is Harry going to hurry up, we’re going to miss the bus.” Liam said, checking his watch.

“He’s probably trying to explain why you nearly destroyed the whole restaurant, babe.” Zayn said, yawning loudly.

“And whose fault was that, huh?” Liam muttered, and Louis giggled, feeling his cheeks turn red.

Sure, he wouldn’t be lying if he said he wasn’t slightly curious at the thought of seeing Zayn and Liam naked (he couldn’t have stumbled upon a group of more attractive men). But despite all Zayn’s teasing, Louis had a feeling that there was something else going on between him and Liam, and there was no way that Louis was going to get in the way of that.

Anyway, Louis was in the middle of unravelling his own mystery, and here it was, walking straight out the restaurant door.

“Finally, took you long enough!” Liam scolded, Harry’s eyes briefly landing on the arm wrapped around Louis’ waist before looking back at Liam with a sweet smile.

“I had to tip them generously, we are never coming back here again.” Harry said, running both his hands through his long hair.

Zayn had mentioned Harry looking like a pirate before, and Louis couldn’t help but agree. But not one of those mangy ones that would eat flesh, but one from those super erotic straight novellas that sold for five quid at the second-hand bookstore. Louis was sure that he had been caught out staring more than once, but it wasn’t just his beauty that was catching him off guard.

Louis had recognised the Harry Styles that he had come to know online only three times throughout the whole lunch: the first had been when he had swooped in and saved Liam from the waiter, all smiles and easy confidence; the second when ordering food, and Louis had definitely noted how easily he seemed to charm the waiter; and the third when they were leaving, Harry talking animatedly with all the people they had been served by, and taking photos with those that asked for one.

The rest was a complete whirlwind. Sometimes he would be completely endearing and say stupid jokes and laugh effortlessly at whatever anyone said, taking photos with joy in his eyes, whilst other times he seemed to shrink into himself, avoiding eye contact and unable to say a word.

He had asked Liam if there was something going on with Harry when he had gone to bathroom, having not spoken for ten minutes.

“Sometimes he’s like that, it’s not you, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Liam said kindly, and Zayn had nodded in agreement.

“He’s always got something on his mind, everything seems to weigh him down heavier than others would care to show.” Zayn said, sighing and taking a sip of his wine.

“That’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

Zayn had flashed them both a dazzling smile, fit for the cover of Vanity Fair magazine. “You don’t even know the half of me, babe.”

As they walked to the bus, Louis couldn’t help but feel comfortable hanging out with them all. Did it really take so little time to become friends with someone? It might have been weird in other circumstances but judging by the way Liam still had his arm around his waist, the ease which Zayn talked to him, and the smile that was currently on Harry’s face, it really was that easy.

“We should all get drunk tonight! Carry on with all the fun we’re having,” Zayn said, linking his arm with Harry’s.

Harry looked at Louis momentarily, a wide smile on his face. “That doesn’t actually sound too bad.”

“You should come, Louis.” Liam said, looking excited. “You can stay over at ours, we’ve got plenty of room!”

Louis laughed, and shook his head, despite how much he wanted to. “If this is a ploy to get me to have sex with you and Zayn, then no way.”

Liam gaped at him as Zayn laughed. “Of course not!”

“I wouldn’t trust either of them, Louis,” Harry said, and Louis’ heart skipped a beat at how happy he looked, and more importantly, how carefree.

“I can’t guarantee it’s not a ploy, Harry is right.” Zayn said dramatically, winking at Liam and Louis.

“I think it’ll be good if I head back, I’ve got to plan the rest of my holiday, call my sisters and mum.” Louis said, trying not to enjoy how disappointed they all looked. Especially Harry, who was trying to hide it but failing miserably.

“Well then we all want to see you again before you head off.” Liam said sadly, and Louis felt his chest grow tight, not anticipating the sudden emotion that he was faced with.

They were at the bus, and Liam let go of Louis, letting him go first. He sat down, and turned to say something to Liam, but it was Harry that was sitting there instead, taking off his sunglasses and looking a little red in the cheeks.

“I hope you don’t mind that I’m sitting here.” Harry said, biting his lip.

Louis smiled. “No, not at all, I’m glad you’re here.”

Harry turned his sunglasses over in his hands. “I know we probably won’t see you much from here on out, but, uh,” He paused, then looked into Louis’ eyes, a fond smile on his face. “We all really enjoy spending time with you, we’re a bit crazy and you haven’t judged us one bit. We – _I_ can’t thank you enough for that. We’d love it if you could spend more time with us, but of course it’s your choice and we’ll respect it.”

The sincerity of Harry’s words struck a chord within Louis; he really wished that he could continue to hang out with them. But Louis also realised that these two weeks were merely a dream, and he couldn’t get sucked into this fantasy life that he was currently living. There would be no hanging out with any of these wonderful men when he returned to his teaching job in Doncaster.

“I really enjoy spending time with you guys as well, it’s kind of been a wish come true, I’ve been a fan of yours since you started.” Louis admitted nervously, hoping that Harry wouldn’t recoil in disgust.

“Favourite song of mine, then?” Harry asked cheekily, and Louis nearly laughed in relief.

“Oh, Sweet Creature, definitely.” Louis gushed. “It’s beautiful.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Interesting.”

Louis elbowed him gently. “Why are you being like that, it’s a great song!”

Harry laughed, face-palming. “I don’t know, not many people say that that one is their favourite.”

Louis shrugged, flipping his non-existent long hair, feeling sassy and utterly himself. “Harry, I’m just the best.”

“Can’t disagree with that,” He replied quietly, Louis absorbed in the unexpected moment that Harry had just created. “And your amazing self still owes me a song.”

“I’m working on it Styles, can’t make a number one hit in a day.” Louis said sarcastically, grinning at how Harry rolled his eyes.

“Anyway, you should give me your number, so I can contact you about it.” Harry said nonchalantly, and Louis could see the suave guy from the restaurant making a reappearance.

Louis was hot all over. Had Harry Styles just asked for his number?

“Shouldn’t you give me your number, and contact you about it?” Louis managed to say, smirking to hide his nervousness.

“Then you’ll never text me, and I’ll never get to hear your wonderful song.” Harry countered, and took his phone out, unlocking it and giving it to Louis. “Put your number in.”

Heart beating uncontrollably, Louis put his number into Harry’s phone. He could feel Harry watching him as he did it, and he cursed himself for feeling so flattered by Harry’s attention. What did it matter? It was obvious Harry just considered him a friend, or a good acquaintance at that.

Harry took his phone back, a grin on his face. “Expect a text every day badgering you about this song, Louis.”

“I’m counting on it.”

………….

Later that night, after Louis had parted ways with Liam, Zayn, and Harry, he was lying on his bed, scrolling through his phone. He had a few ideas about the song he wanted to write, but they were lacking something real, and Louis was going to seek more inspiration tomorrow. He had no clue what he was going to do, though.

His phone buzzed in his hand, a message from an unknown number appearing on his screen. Louis smiled, opening the message and adding the number to his contacts.

_Styles: soooo how’s my song going?_

_Louis: bad. no inspo yet_

_Styles: :(_

_Louis: you can wait, pretty boy_

Pretty boy? Louis hit himself on the head. “M’such a bloody idiot.” He muttered to himself. His phone buzzed and he opened the message.

_Styles: if I’m saved as pretty boy in your phone, then I will wait._

_Louis: … how would you know?_

_Pretty boy: intuition. and mind reading._

_Louis: Harry Styles, performer and terrible mind reader_

_Pretty boy: that’s all I’ve ever wanted._

Louis snorted, enjoying this all way too much. Harry was a mess in person, and it was kind of nice to see him writing like this, like Louis had caught glimpses of during their two days together. He had fantasised about meeting Harry since he listened to his first album, and now that he had and was talking to him, he didn’t know how to process it all.

_Pretty boy: also, I lied._

_Louis: ???_

_Louis: about what?_

_Pretty boy: when I said that we’ll respect your decision if you chose not to hang out with us._

_Louis: I see_

_Pretty boy: I thought it’d be okay but it’s not, really._

_Louis: idk if it’s a good idea, Harry_

_Pretty boy: Liam and Zayn won’t shut up about you._

_Louis: I’m sure you can deal with it, Styles ;)_

_Pretty boy: thing is I probably could, but also, I feel that you should spend the rest of your trip with us._

_Louis: you don’t even know me_

_Pretty boy: I know that you are genuine, and you make all of us feel like we don’t need to pretend. It’s rare._

_Louis: you’re too nice, I couldn’t burden you like that_

_Pretty boy: change your mind._

_Pretty boy: please._

Louis had to put his phone down, a complicated feeling growing in his chest. He ran through the conversation in his mind again and picked the phone up again. How could he say no, really? Especially since he had asked so nicely.

_Louis: okay_

_Pretty boy: :)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowie this is the longest chapter I've written for this so far, it was so fun and I'm enjoying this immensely!
> 
> I hope you guys are having an awesome day, I really hope you guys are enjoying this hehe
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr: @harry20gayteen <3 
> 
> all the love, Sara xx


	7. sei - la sabbia

“Harry, who are you texting constantly? I am going _insane_.”

Harry looked up from his phone, poking his tongue out at Zayn. “None of your business.”

Zayn pouted, staring at his now empty glass of orange juice. “It is my business, I’m your best friend, thank you very much.”

Liam walked into the room, humming quietly as he did so. Zayn watched as he yawned loudly, looking like he hadn’t slept much at all. He wondered if he was okay.

“He’s texting Louis.” Liam said sleepily, rubbing his eyes as he turned the electric kettle on.

Zayn sat up, crossing his arms. “Harry!”

Harry huffed, looking embarrassed. “Have you been snooping through my phone?”

Liam rolled his eyes as he put two pieces of bread in the toaster. Zayn noticed that his tracksuit pants were slung extremely low on his hips, and if it were anyone else, he would have gone over there and ripped those pants right off that toned body. Liam being shirtless was also not helping.

But it wasn’t just anyone. It was Liam, and Zayn looked away.

“I didn’t snoop, you left it on the couch, it buzzed, and I saw the name _sunshine_ come up on your screen.” Liam said, a wicked smile on his face.

Zayn smirked at Harry, who had turned a magnificent shade of red. “Sunshine, Harry? Really?”

Harry groaned and stuffed his face into a pillow. “I can’t help it, he’s so beautiful.”

“Duh, but you didn’t have to go getting a crush on him!” Zayn said, getting up and jumping unceremoniously on Harry.

“Zayn get off, let me suffer alone.” Harry mumbled, but Zayn had his arms around him and wasn’t willing to let go.

“Couldn’t let you do that, babe.” Zayn whispered mischievously, ruffling Harry’s hair with his free hand. “So, what are you guys talking about? Aren’t we seeing him in an hour?”

 “Yeah, but I like talking to him, and I can’t be an idiot over text.” Zayn looked at Harry, his heart full of love. He didn’t necessarily think that Harry talking to Louis like this was the best idea, but Zayn had never known what Harry was currently going through. He couldn’t take away this one good thing.

Plus, Zayn enjoyed Louis’ company as much as Harry did. Whatever Harry had said, Zayn was glad that he had changed his mind.

Liam came and sat down on the couch with his breakfast, watching on with an amused look in his eye. Their eyes locked, and Liam’s smile widened, and Zayn could only admire how wonderful he was. If Harry was in trouble this trip, Zayn was pretty sure that he was as well.

He had continued to play off whatever was starting to build in his chest, flirting shamelessly and pissing Liam off in equal amounts, just to not make it obvious. But it didn’t mean that whatever he was feeling stopped existing. Yesterday had been complicated at best; he hadn’t meant to piss Liam off that bad with the threesome comment, but now he could see how he had been a complete and utter asshole.

Then the bus ride was quiet, not in an awkward way, but a surprisingly comfortable way. Liam had curled up, and Zayn nearly wanted to pull him into his chest, to have his soft tired face near his. He hadn’t known then if Liam was still angry at him, and to be honest, he was worried that he had pushed it too far. There was so many things that he wasn’t sure about with Liam.

“What are we going to today, boys?” Liam asked, bringing Zayn out of his head and back to the present.

“Beach! Please!” Harry said, nearly throwing Zayn off him in his excitement.

“Watch it, babe.” Zayn said exasperatedly, but he couldn’t help but smile at his dork of a best friend.

“I think we both know why you want to go to the beach.” Liam teased. “Your beautiful Louis, shirtless, in tight little shorts –”

Zayn couldn’t stop laughing, especially at seeing the mortified look Harry was giving Liam. He stood up, trying to calm his laughter as he grabbed Liam’s empty plate and headed to the kitchen.

“Stop, stop, I’m too fragile.” Harry moaned, and Zayn had to bite his lip to keep the laughter in.

“You better text him, tell him to bring something for swimming.” Liam said, and Zayn heard him walk into the kitchen. Zayn smiled at him as he came to stand beside him. “I could’ve washed that, you know.”

Zayn dried his hands with a paper towel, trying his best to not look down at the waistband of Liam’s tracksuit pants, or the expanse of toned abs that he had noted before. “Well I thought I should do something nice, was a bit of a dick yesterday.”

Liam leant against the countertop, a frown on his face. “What do you mean?”

Zayn turned to face him, careful to not smirk at his forgetfulness, to show his sincerity. “When I suggested we have a threesome with Louis?”

“Oh yeah,” Liam said quietly, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s okay, I know it was just your usual joking around.”

“I wanted to say sorry anyway, just in case you’re just being nice.” He said softly, watching Liam as he ran a hand through his hair. “Like, I respect you as a person, it probably doesn’t come across like that, but yeah, I’m sorry if I made you feel any different.”

Liam looked at him, with a complicated look that Zayn couldn’t quite comprehend. He felt his heart in his throat, nervous that he had revealed too much, or not enough. He just didn’t want Liam to hate him, he wasn’t sure if he could stand it.

“It’s all good, Zayn, thank you for saying that, though.” Liam said, looking cute and awkward and flustered.

Zayn had never wanted to kiss someone more.

“Louis is going to meet us at the beach, let’s hurry up and get ready!” Harry yelled, and Zayn and Liam jumped apart, avoiding looking each other in the eye.

“What about food, should I prepare some sandwiches or something?” Liam asked, walking back to where Harry was lounging, leaving Zayn in the kitchen. He needed a moment to catch his breath.

“Nah we’ll get lunch there, we’re on holiday and we should do a minimal amount of cooking.” Harry said, getting up and stretching.

“M’going to get ready, I’ll come back out to help pack the stuff.” Zayn said, gesturing to his room.

He could feel Liam’s eyes on him as he walked away, but didn’t turn around. He was going to make sure that he looked hot as hell; there was no way that Liam was going to get away with being that distractingly good looking at this time of the morning. Liam would have no choice but to notice.

Zayn got changed, opting for tight black swimming shorts, a black sheer asymmetrical skirt that clung to his hips, and an even tighter black off the shoulder crop top. He looked at himself in the mirror, grabbing a pair of aviators and putting them on top of his head. He smiled at himself and walked out of his room.

It hadn’t always been this easy. He had forged his own path with the gender-neutral clothing, experimenting slowly so that people didn’t notice. It had taken him years to wear what he was wearing now, having slowly desensitised the people around him to his forward clothing choices. But as he strutted down the hallway, Zayn felt proud at how he had slowly come into his own, both with his fluid sexuality and clothing choices.

It felt so freeing, to be himself.

The living area was empty when Zayn walked in. He put his hands on his hips, waiting for someone to come in and acknowledge that he looked like a Greek god. He waited there for a minute, and then decided to start packing things. Obviously, Harry and Liam were working on looking their very best, and Zayn’s mind began to wander as he packed sunscreen and bottles of water (reusable, of course).

Zayn had pretended that he hadn’t seen Liam before, but he remembered Liam more than he’d care to admit. The _In My Heart_ launch a year ago. Liam must have just started as Harry’s assistant, because he had looked so out of place amongst all the music industry professionals, nervously drinking in the corner as the party raged around him. He hadn’t gone to talk to him, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t been watching him all night, even when the guy he was making out with started placing sloppy kisses down his neck.

He hadn’t seen Liam again, until a few days ago. Zayn wasn’t sure if Harry had purposefully kept the two of them apart, but he didn’t really blame him. Harry’s assistants had always proved to be his type, and they always liked the attention that they got from Zayn. It had never been anything serious, because he knew how quickly they left, and he couldn’t bear to keep someone around that wasn’t going to stay for Harry.

“Zayn are you going to wear a hat – oh, wow.”

 At that moment, Zayn had been bent over his beach bag, trying to rearrange the sunscreen in his bag so it wouldn’t fall over and accidentally spill everywhere. He hadn’t meant to have his ass in the air, but now that Liam was in the room, he took his time in straightening his body. Liam was going to see everything that he wanted him to see. Zayn turned, placing his hands on his hips.

“I’m probably going to bring one, last thing I need is a sunburn.” Zayn said sweetly, absolutely loving how speechless Liam was.

Liam was wearing a plain white t-shirt tucked into beige shorts, and it was _criminal_ how wonderful he looked in an outfit that was so simple. Zayn was trying not to shamelessly check him out, but Liam was doing the same to him, so he couldn’t help but look whilst Liam himself was distracted.

“I should bring one too.” Liam said after a moment, his voice low.

He hadn’t seen Liam like this, and Zayn could not deny how strongly this charged encounter was making him feel. Had it really been two nights ago that they had been lying in bed together, both vulnerable and whispering kind things? It seemed unreasonable, now that Zayn was standing in front of Liam like this.

Zayn bit his lip, taking a tentative step towards Liam. “Like what you see, babe?”

The look that Liam gave Zayn was pure heat, stopping Zayn in his tracks. He had seen Liam annoyed, fond, angry, tired, and cute to the point of melting his heart, but he had never seen him look at anyone with the intensity he was giving Zayn right now. He felt his knees go weak.

“I might,” Liam said, spanning the gap between them, his face unbearably close to Zayn’s. Zayn could feel every part of his body freeze, unsure what to do next, only able to stare into the dark eyes of the beautiful man in front of him. Liam leant in, lips brushing against Zayn’s ear. “But you’ll never know, _babe_.”

Liam turned and walked out of the room. Zayn sat down on the couch, his heart thumping in his chest.

Usually, Zayn was the one that left people in a sultry haze, but for one of the few times in his life he was speechless. Liam had so easily played him, and Zayn hadn’t even realised it until it was much too late. He let a long breath, trying to calm whatever was now happening in his chest.

Zayn had been quick to tell Harry that he didn’t have feelings for Liam, and although he wasn’t sure he’d quite call these _feelings,_ Zayn could no longer deny that he wanted something more than flirting from Liam. It was odd that all it took was for Liam to flirt back once (only one time) and he was thinking about that dream he had where Liam was holding his hand in a park.

“Fuck,” Zayn muttered to himself.

“You right there, Zayn? Oh, I love the skirt!”

Zayn all but jumped as Harry walked in, a big smile on his face. He was surprised at how _happy_ Harry currently looked, and he just hoped that it would be a continual theme of their holiday. Zayn had been thinking about Harry late last night as he was smoking on his balcony, running through all the memories that they had been lucky to share together and how they both had grown.

Maybe this happiness would stay.

“Yeah I’m fine. Tell me I look good, I desire compliments.” Zayn said dramatically, trying to hide his confusion under a well-practiced tantalising grin.

Harry shook his head, taking his beach bag off his shoulder as he sat next to Zayn. “I already shower you with compliments, you’re the most wonderful person I know.”

Zayn kissed Harry on the cheek, feeling fond and glad for a distraction from Liam. At least momentarily. “You’re the best, babe.” He said quietly.

Harry rested his head on Zayn’s shoulder, letting out a content sigh. “I’m so lucky to have you. And Liam as well. I don’t think I could’ve lasted this long without you two.”

The words were sincere, as they always were with Harry, and Zayn had heard them before. But he was gripped with emotion every time, because Zayn loved Harry and had always tried to be as supportive as possible. Zayn had always been one to quietly sacrifice his personal happiness for those that he loved, and he didn’t regret a single moment of it.

“Give yourself some credit,” Zayn said softly, grabbing one of Harry’s hands and holding it tightly. “You are the strongest person that I know. I am proud to call you my best friend, and I also know that we’ll make it.”

“I’m getting emotional, my eyes are going to get puffy.” Harry said, chuckling as he sat up. Zayn didn’t let go of his hand.

Zayn gave him a small, sad smile. “You were always the more emotional one.”

Harry looked into Zayn’s eyes, a curious look on his face. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Zayn nodded, trying to extend the smile, hide his feelings away. “I’m good, babe. It’ll be good to see Louis, everything suddenly feels so serious.” Zayn said, rolling his shoulders back as if it would distract Harry from what was happening.

At the mention of Louis, Harry’s happy countenance turned into a shyer, more nervous smile. He let go of Zayn’s hand, and absentmindedly started playing with a strand of his hair. “He’s pretty cool, huh?” He said softly.

Zayn smiled. “He’s great, Harry.”

“Alright lads let’s hurry it up! Don’t want Louis to be waiting for us, plus, I am ready to find me some hot Italian male at the beach!”

Liam had burst into the room and consequently stolen all the air from Zayn’s lungs. Zayn had thoroughly enjoyed sultry Liam, but it was right now, when his face seemed like it was about split apart from the happiness that radiated from him in waves, that he could see how beautiful Liam was.

Zayn swallowed and looked away as Harry got up, chattering to Liam about a myriad of different beach memories that they had, both radiant and full of life. He watched Liam as discreetly as he could, still processing that Liam was definitely going to try and flirt with some guy on the beach, and that he would just have to –

 _What are you going to do, Zayn?_ He thought to himself, grabbing his bag and heading out with them to the car. He sat in the driver’s seat, sliding his sunglasses on. Of course, there were a myriad of choices, and some were more tempting than others. He could be possessive and all the things that he hated in a partner. It would be easy, but as Zayn drove to the beach, the only thing he really wanted to do was to see Liam smile the way he had just done.

Liam was sitting in the back seat, and Zayn briefly looked at him in the rear-view mirror. He was staring fondly out at the sea, looking more at peace than Zayn had witnessed so far. He thought back to the night of Liam’s panic attack.

No, Zayn would not interfere today.

………….

Louis was shitting himself.

Harry had texted him to bring something for swimming, and Louis was completely sure that three very hot men were going to show up and slay him. He would not be able to continue with his holiday. He would die from how beautiful his new friends were.

Louis was also nervous because he and Harry had been talking. A _lot._ He wasn’t quite sure if the goof that texted him terrible puns and made random and sometimes nonsensical comments about random objects would make an appearance today, but he hoped so. He had scrolled through the messages again as he waited at the beach, unable to stop the big smile on his face.

There was also an issue with the texting. Louis was no master at flirting, but he had looked over Harry’s messages a million times (even as he was typing) and he had this feeling that Harry was being much more than friendly. Despite Louis near melting with excitement at the prospect of Harry Styles flirting with him, he was also wary and confused. Harry had always been portrayed as womaniser, from the moment he became big. There had been girl after girl, all dutifully reported and plenty of pap pictures to accompany it.

But even as Louis thought that, he knew that Harry being anything but completely respectful towards women was just downright stupid. In everything that Louis had witnessed of Harry, he had been kind, supportive, and a lovable dork. Louis’ heart jumped in his chest as his phone buzzed. Harry had sent him a terrible selfie, his long hair cascading down his shoulders in his usually perfectly styled manner, and the angle just a little too low to show off his cutting jawline.

Harry looked happy, and Louis had to stop and remember how to breathe.

_Louis: someone needs to teach you how to take a selfie_

_Pretty boy: ummmm that was an amazing photo, thank you very much._

_Pretty boy: you could sell that and make some good money._

_Louis: hahaha hmmm maybe I will, since you think so poorly of me ;)_

_Pretty boy: I don’t think there is anyone that has a higher opinion of you than me._

Louis nearly dropped his phone. Yes, Harry Styles was flirting with him.

He could see Zayn pulling up with the car, and he didn’t really have time to process it all. Besides the immediate panic and excitement of Harry being beyond adorable and endearing, there were a lot of questions. Louis felt his stomach tying up into knots, but he was grinning as Harry, Liam, and Zayn majestically made their way out of the car.

“Louis, babe! You’re looking hot!” Zayn called, and Louis laughed in delight as he saw the wondrous skirt and crop top he was wearing.

“Oh Zayn, I think we all know that you’re the one that looks hot today,” Louis said, standing up as the boys approached him. He was trying to be normal, but he felt himself coming slightly undone at the beaming Harry, who was wearing a well-worn KISS t-shirt and black shorts.

Liam was the first to approach, hugging him tightly. Louis was in love with how happy they all looked today, and Liam was no exception. He kept his arms slung around Louis’ neck but stepped back so that there was space between them, the biggest grin on his face. “I’m glad you changed your mind, Louis.”

Louis felt his cheeks go red, overwhelmed with all the love that he was feeling from the boys. “I don’t think I could’ve stayed away for long, lad.” Louis said honestly.

As Liam let go, Zayn stepped forward and kissed Louis on cheek before giving him a hug. “That shirt better be off soon, babe.” Zayn whispered cheekily into his ear.

Louis rolled his eyes at Liam who had heard what Zayn said. “Zayn, you are incredible.”

Zayn turned to Liam, a sweet smile on his face. “See, Louis thinks I’m incredible.”

Liam laughed, grabbing Zayn by the arm. “You’re an idiot. Come on, let’s go find a spot.”

Louis almost wanted to argue against them leaving, but he didn’t. He turned to look at Harry, who had a complicated look on his face, but Louis could see the happiness that radiated it through it all. The nervousness he had been feeling before intensified as Harry stepped toward him.

“I hope we didn’t keep you waiting too long,” Harry said in his low rumbling voice, cheeks pink and eyes wide.

A warm feeling spread through Louis as he smiled at Harry. “Not long at all, pretty boy.”

Harry’s famous dimpled smile appeared. “Well then, let’s go have a swim.”

They followed Liam and Zayn who had found a quieter spot at the far end of the beach. Zayn had laid down his towel and was meticulously applying sunscreen, whilst Liam was taking his top off and scanning the beach, hands on hips. He gestured for Louis to come over as Harry began to organise his things next to Zayn.

“Louis, we need to find ourselves some hot men.” Liam said, eyeing some men who were slowly walking past them, tanned and gorgeous. They were nothing like the men Louis had been in contact with in England, though he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t a little bit intimidated. One of them had turned his head and looked Louis right in the eye, a smirk stretched across his face.

Louis swallowed and turned back to Liam. “I think I’m good, Liam.” He said weakly, knowing that his cheeks were bright red.

Liam still had his eyes on the men that were walking past, and Louis could only wonder why he was suddenly so keen on finding a guy to make out with. He glanced at Zayn, and felt his chest tighten slightly. Zayn was looking at Liam, not with lust but with a softness that Louis had only been privy to in the most intimate of his romantic relationships.

Liam sighed, and went to his bag, getting his sunscreen out. “Lou, help me with the sunscreen?”

“I can, if you want.” Zayn said quietly.

Louis could see the happiness momentarily turning into confusion on Liam’s face as he looked at Zayn. He shook his head, almost imperceptibly, and the smile returned to his face. “I know what your agenda is, Zayn.” He said flippantly, walking back over to Louis and handing him the sunscreen. “Last thing I need is to get burnt.”

Louis helped Liam with the sunscreen, the two of them talking about how beautiful the water looked, whilst Liam asked Louis whether he thought every single young guy that walked by was fit. He couldn’t help but laugh, because Liam was too busy being distracted by the guys to not realise that quite a few of them had been checking him out.

“Lad, you could pick any one of these men and they would happily shove their tongues down your throat,” Louis said, having smoothed the last of the sunscreen on Liam’s shoulder blades.

Liam gasped, and Zayn laughed loudly. “Louis! That’s not true.” Liam said, flustered and blushing.

“Louis speaks the truth, babe.” Zayn said casually, taking off his sunglasses. “Even from here I would question why one of these men would _not_ want to make out with you.”

“You two are terrible, Harry, help me.” Liam whined, avoiding Zayn’s gaze.

“Leave him alone, we all know he’s a big boy who can make his own decisions,” Harry said teasingly, and Liam flipped him off. Louis turned to Harry’s voice, and nearly fell over. Harry had taken off his shirt and his black shorts, which revealed tight bright yellow short swimming shorts. But Louis already knew that Harry was beautiful and had already seen a multitude of shirtless Harry pictures online.

It was the huge smile on his face, the almost child-like excitement that had Louis swooning. He had wondered whether the goofball that had been texting him non-stop since yesterday afternoon would appear, and it seemed that that was exactly the case.

“Alright, well I’m going to go swim, are any of you traitors coming?” Liam grumbled, crossing his arms.

Harry went over and linked his arm with Liam’s. “I’ll come, let’s find you a hot man.” He said cheekily, and then looked at Louis, green eyes sparkling. “What about you, Louis?”

Louis gestured at his still fully clothed body. “Might meet you out there,” He said, and he looked down at Zayn who was watching with amusement. “Plus, I don’t think I could leave this one here by himself, someone might steal him away.”

Zayn chuckled. “Not wrong there.”

Liam rolled his eyes and started dragging Harry towards the water. “C’mon Harry, the water awaits.”

Harry turned back to look at Louis “Don’t keep me waiting too long.” He called, free hand waving at him.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, pretty boy!” Louis replied, shaking his head at the goofy smile that appeared on Harry’s face at his words.

Zayn was watching them leave, and Louis discreetly watched the wistful look on Zayn’s morph and change the further away they got. Louis had close friends back home, but he adored the way that these three boys loved each other. He had known who Zayn was, but seeing random pictures online was different to witnessing the small mannerisms that they had with each other.

Louis spread out his beach towel, before taking off his top and grabbing the sunscreen that Liam had left in the sand. “Are you going to swim?”

Zayn sighed before smiling. “Never been much of a swimmer, I’ll enjoy the view from here.” He was so sombre, unlike what Louis was accustomed to. Had something happened that morning?

Louis quietly applied his sunscreen, enjoying the sun on his skin. As he rubbed the sunscreen into his arms, he looked over the different ones that had accumulated across the years, some holding deep personal significance, and others being nothing more than his whim at the time. But he didn’t regret any of them and was kind of hoping to get another one this trip.

“Did you want help with your back?” Zayn asked after a period of comfortable silence.

Louis smiled at him. “Thanks, Zayn.”

Zayn got up and sat down behind Louis, gently massaging the cold sunscreen into his back. It was a quiet and intimate moment, something that Louis remembered years after the holiday had finished. They hadn’t known each other that long, but there was a level of trust between them that Louis treasured. There was also something to be said about the friendship between two non-straight men, and the warmth of it spread through Louis.

Once Zayn had finished, Louis turned to face Zayn, a little saddened to see that he still looked grave and stuck deep in thought. “Are you… did you want to talk about something?” Louis asked shyly, unsure if he was overstepping.

Zayn seemed to come out of his haze, and a warm smile appeared on his face. “I feel like I need to, but I’m still trying to find the words.” He said, pulling at the hem of his skirt. “But thanks babe, you’re too kind.”

“You can never be too kind,” Louis said, resting a hand on Zayn’s knee, like old friends would.

He didn’t recoil in disgust, as Louis was scared that he might, but instead put his own hand on top of Louis’. Like old friends.

Louis wanted to hug him, which was a common feeling. He had used to shy away from affection, afraid that people would think he was flirting when he was merely showing them how much he cared. He already knew that Zayn and Liam had always been comfortable in touching him, either through linking arms or a hand resting on his arm.

“Actually, could I ask you about something?” Zayn said, looking past Louis, out to the water. Some part of Louis knew that he was searching for Liam.

“Of course, anything.” Louis replied instantly, knowing that he would help Zayn however he could.

His hazel eyes were still focused on the water. “Have you thought about what you will do when you go back home?”

Louis blinked blankly at Zayn for a moment. “Uh, go back to work?”

Zayn smiled at that and brought his eyes back to Louis. “I was kind of referring to Harry.”

“Oh.”

Zayn took the hand that Louis had put on his and held with his own two hands, softly, gently. “Look Louis, you’ve known us for barely any time at all, but Harry’s always been quick to open his heart to people.”

Louis sucked in a breath. “I wouldn’t hurt him, if that’s what you’re worried about.” He said quietly, almost a whisper.

“I know it wouldn’t happen intentionally, but –” Zayn paused, looking down at his two hands encompassing Louis’. “There’s a lot of stuff going on in his life, and people tend to not stick around when they find out. I just hope, for both of you, that you know whether having him in your life is what you want.”

Louis nodded, understanding. He turned his head to see Harry splashing around in the water like a complete idiot. He saw Louis watching him and waved excitedly, before getting a wave of water being splashed onto his face by Liam. Louis’ heart already had made its decision.

“I think,” Louis said, smile big on his face. “I already know.”

“I trust you, babe. Go, I’ll be fine here by myself.” Zayn said, letting go of Louis’ hand and moving back to his towel, stretching his legs out.

“I’m not sure if you’ve been told this already, but you’re a wonderful person, Zayn.” Louis said as he stood up, feeling fond for the person in front of him.

Zayn grinned, and all the confidence from the past couple of days came back in full force. “Oh babe, I knew that.”

Louis made his way towards the water, his heart hammering away in his chest. He could hear Harry laughing as Liam floated on his back and could not believe how lucky he was to be a part of these moments. Every part of him ached with the _rightness_ of everything that happened so far on this holiday, and he didn’t want it to end. How could he go back, knowing that he could exist in this manner?

Harry pushed his wet hair out of his face, and saw that Louis was coming towards them. Louis couldn’t help but grin when Harry started cheering and Liam flailed in the water at the unexpected noise.

“You made it! Thought Zayn might’ve ensnared you.” Harry said joyfully.

Louis started to wade into the water, the water warm and crystal clear. “I said that I wouldn’t keep you waiting.”

Louis and Harry were now only a metre apart, water up to their waists. Light reflecting from the water was catching in Harry’s green eyes, and Louis was tempted to step closer, run his fingers over his jawline, his cheeks, his pink lips. There was uncertainty, though, and Louis snapped himself out of it. He couldn’t.

“The water’s nice, isn’t it?” Harry said, tilting his head up to soak the sun. “Even better than I thought it would be.”

“I haven’t been swimming in ages, it’s great.” Louis said, humming happily. He moved away from Harry slightly before lowering himself into the water, eyes squeezed shut as he let himself be fully submerged for a brief moment.

When he came out again, Harry had moved deeper into the water. He turned back and gestured for Louis to follow him, so he did. They swum until no one was near them, Liam having gracefully made his way over to a guy that had been checking him out the whole time. Louis could only just stand, but it was nicer, away from it all.

Louis could pretend that it was just him and Harry.

“So,” Harry said, moving his way closer to Louis. “What were you and Zayn talking about?”

Louis pushed his hair out of his eyes, attempting to slick it back. “Just about what I’m doing after the holiday,” He said casually. “He’s sweet when he’s not trying to constantly flirt.”

Harry chuckled. “Even then he still manages to be extremely charming.” Louis noticed that once again they were only a metre apart, and he wasn’t sure if he could stop himself from being pulled in this time.

“Oh yes, that’s very true.” Louis said, a small smile on his face.

Harry was inspecting him, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. “If uh, you didn’t know, Zayn isn’t seeing anyone.” Harry mumbled.

Louis stared at him for a long moment, unsure of what he just said. “What?”

He was turning red, his mouth opening and closing as no words came out. “Zayn, um, you can ask him out. He flirts a lot, but you know, he’s sweet, like you said.”

A part of Louis was melting at the rambling mess in front of him, whilst the other was trying to understand what Harry had said. Date Zayn? Ask Zayn on a date? What was this curly haired dork of a prince even saying?

“You think I want to ask Zayn out?” Louis managed to say as Harry succeeded in looking even more awkward.

“I saw you holding hands and I just –” Harry stopped and sucked in a breath. “I don’t know, but you should if you want to.”

Louis couldn’t stop the grin on his face if he tried. “Oh Harry, no, I don’t want to ask Zayn out.”

Harry looked at him blankly for a moment. “Really?”

Louis began to laugh, splashing Harry in the face with water. “You’re such a dork, Harry Styles.”

The relief on Harry’s face sent Louis’ heart into overdrive. No straight man was supposed to look _that_ happy about this situation. “I don’t know about these things.” He near-whined, but he was starting to laugh and soon they were both breathless, Louis hiccupping slightly.

“You must think I’m a downright mess,” Harry said breathlessly, the biggest smile still on his face.

“Oh yes, now more than ever.” Louis replied, hiccupping mid-sentence.

Harry giggled, and Louis wondered if anyone had felt more endeared than he had in this moment. “Stop hiccupping, it’s too cute and you’re making me laugh.”

“I can’t help being cute!” Louis said exasperatedly, hiccupping once again.

“Stop, Lou, my chest hurts!” Harry said through laughter, moving to shallower water.

 _Lou._ God, little nicknames now?

They spent another half an hour in the water together, the conversation slowly heading towards music. Louis loved hearing about how Harry worked as an artist, and he could almost picture himself in a recording studio with Harry, writing countless songs, and being completely happy. Harry tried to turn the conversation back to Louis, but Louis resisted, wanting to know as much about this wonderful human as possible.

Zayn’s words kept circling in the back of his mind throughout the day. Even as Louis watched Liam kissing the guy from before in the water, and even when he was completely distracted and besotted by everything Harry did, they stuck in his mind. Louis could already feel the connection between him and all the boys (but especially Harry) growing, and he knew that it would be harder to separate the longer time went on.

In the scheme of things, they didn’t have much time. But Louis was never one to shy away from an opportunity for friendship and love, and so no thought of walking away from Liam, Zayn, and Harry crossed his mind. If he could only have _this_ for two weeks, Louis was going to make the most of it.

Even if it broke his heart, in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh sorry I was not on time this week :( but this chapter is the longest one so far (didn't even mean for that to happen why am I like this)
> 
> I hope you guys like it, tell me what you like, what you don't like, all criticism is good and welcome hehehe
> 
> also come talk to me on tumblr: @harry20gayteen
> 
> p.s. it's been 1000 days without one direction I'm sad


	8. sette - il silenzio

Zayn had been in his room for hours. They had arrived home from the beach, Harry elated and about to burst with all the moments he had shared with Louis today, and Zayn had quietly disappeared, mumbling something about having a shower and a nap. At first, Harry thought nothing of it, because he had heard the water running and turning off, and just assumed that he had fallen asleep, like he was prone to.

But the sun was now long gone, and Liam was getting agitated. He had been acting oddly, and Harry had asked him multiple times if the guy he had kissed had done something to him. Liam had shaken his head, saying that the guy had been a perfect gentleman. But something was wrong, and Harry had no idea what to do.

“Should I go check on him? He’s been in there four hours now, he won’t be able to sleep later,” Liam said, pacing up and down the living room, eyes not leaving the corridor entrance.

Harry bit his lip. He had witnessed Liam frazzled and annoyed, but Harry knew anxiety when he saw it. “If you want, you can.” Harry said.

Liam repeatedly pulled down at the hem of his top. “I don’t think he wants to see me, it might be because of me, I’ve done something –”

Harry stood up and gently stopped Liam and his pacing. “Liam listen to me,” Harry said, keeping his voice low and steady. “If there is something happening with Zayn, it’s not because of you, okay? I promise it’s not about you.”

The panic in Liam’s eyes was tearing Harry apart. He hadn’t seen Liam like this and he wanted to stop whatever he was feeling, to protect Liam from the pain that he was going through. Harry slowly drew Liam into his arms, holding him tightly. He could feel Liam shaking in his arms.

“Can you go check on him, I don’t want to make things worse.” Liam whispered, letting go and starting to pace again.

Harry nodded, swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. He was torn between staying and making sure Liam was okay and fulfilling his wish and going to see Zayn. Harry ended up going to Zayn’s room, not bothering to knock, pushing the door open.

The room was surprisingly clean. Harry almost missed Zayn in the darkness, but there he was, curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed. He was nearly naked, only wearing a pair of underwear. Harry slowly made his way over, making his way to the other side of the bed where Zayn was facing. He turned the bedside lamp on, the light washing across the room and showing how small Zayn looked.

“Zayn?” Harry said quietly, kneeling beside the bed.

His eyes were open, blank. Harry felt his eyes welling with tears; he had seen Zayn like this before.

Harry gently put his hand on Zayn’s cheek, slowly rubbing circles into his skin with his thumb. Zayn blinked and focused on Harry, his lips parting slightly. “Harry.” It was barely a whisper, like he had said nothing at all.

“Talk to me, what’s happening?” Harry murmured, the sadness building in his chest.

Zayn sucked in a breath. “I went off my meds before we came.”

Harry felt his heart shatter in his chest, a tear rolling down his cheek. “Oh babe.”

“I thought it’d be okay, you know? I was so excited, and I was doing so well at the start I thought I could do it.” All the blankness from before had disappeared, replaced with an old sadness that no twenty-five-year-old should have.

Harry was trying not to cry; it had never helped. “It’s okay Zayn, we’ll get you back on track. I’m here for you.”

Zayn squeezed his eyes shut as tears slowly began to fall. “I didn’t want you and Liam to see me taking it, like I knew that I told you about the meds but it’s too embarrassing, I wasn’t strong enough.”

“Zayn Malik you listen to me,” Harry whispered, his voice cracking. “Taking medication is not weak. You having a mental illness is not a weakness. You have been existing with depression and anxiety from when we were young, and I am so proud that you took the steps to get yourself help. You should be proud, because that takes courage, and it takes strength and will to do what you have done so far.”

A shaky breath escaped Zayn’s trembling lips, his eyes still closed. “Some part of me knows, Harry, but it still feels so heavy.”

Harry kept on rubbing circles into Zayn’s cheek, as if that would get rid of the pain. “We’re here for you, we’ll always be here for you.”

Zayn opened his eyes, and very slowly bought his own hand up to wipe away his tears. “Thanks for coming in, I always think it’s better when I’m alone but –” He paused, the tiniest smile appearing. “It’s nice to see that someone cares.”

Harry nodded, not bothering to hide the silent tears that had fallen despite him not wanting them to. “I love you, Zayn. So, so much.” Harry said, not taking his eyes off his most beloved friend. “Do you have the medication with you?”

“Yes, in my bag.” Zayn mumbled.

Harry nodded and got up. Zayn said nothing as Harry rummaged through his still half-packed suitcase; Harry himself was trying to steady his shaking hands. It had been a long time since Zayn had come to Harry like this and every time was more difficult than the last. But it didn’t stop Harry wanting to be there for him, because he always knew that Zayn was always there for Harry.

He found the medication and put it on the bedside table. Zayn had slowly sat up, so Harry grabbed a blanket and draped it around his shoulders, sitting next to him. “I love you Zayn, I will always be here to support you.” Harry said, rubbing Zayn’s back in what he hoped to be soothing circles.

Zayn smiled weakly at him, then looked at the medication on his bedside table, biting his lip. “Fuck, I thought I could do it.”

“This isn’t a failure, babe.” Harry said quietly. “Not everyone can do everything right all the time.”

There was silence between them as they both quietly went through their own thoughts. Harry was silently glad that things hadn’t gotten more serious, despite being slightly worried that Zayn had casually stopped taking his medication, and it had taken Harry _four_ days to realise so. Zayn had always been so good at hiding things that he wanted to.

Harry wondered what Zayn was thinking about as they sat there. They had both had practice in silences, but he could feel the heaviness in this one. They were best friends, but Harry’s career had always meant that he didn’t see Zayn as much as he’d like. Zayn worked with Harry on the artistic direction of his album covers, merchandise, and sometimes even came into the studio to help Harry record a song. Other than Liam, there was no one that Harry would rather have by his side.

There were months that Harry and Zayn didn’t see each other. Zayn would fill him on any gossip and key things that had happened in his life but receiving weekly update Skype calls wasn’t the same as existing with someone, seeing how they reacted to things, how little they left the house. Harry could never tell when Zayn was having a bad day when they called each other.

“I should get some water for the medication, let’s go out into the living room.” Zayn said quietly, putting a hand on Harry’s knee and squeezing it slightly before standing up.

Harry watched as he pulled on a pair of tracksuit pants. “Are you sure, babe?”

Zayn smiled at him slightly. “Yes. Why don’t you take a video? You can watch it later in bed.”

Harry shook his head, trying not to smirk. “What makes you think I don’t already have multiple videos of you in a state of undress?”

The smallest laugh escaped from Zayn’s lips. “I’m not surprised.” He looked at Harry, the smile disappearing and his eyebrows furrowing. “Did Liam notice?”

Harry hesitated, playing with his silver rose ring. “Yeah, he did.”

“Was he… worried? He’s not stressing about me, is he?” Harry was more than surprised at the sudden reappearance of agony in Zayn’s voice, nor the heartbroken look on his face.

“You should talk to him, I think that will be the best for the both of you.” Harry said gently, Zayn trying to find a top.

Zayn shrugged the top on and grabbed the medication off the bedside table. “You’re always right, Harry. You’ll sit with me when I talk to him about it?”

“Of course, whatever you need.” Harry said, standing up and following Zayn out of the room.

Liam was still pacing, the hem of his t-shirt bunched up in his hands. It looked like he hadn’t stopped since Harry had gone in to talk to Zayn. Harry could barely reconcile the Liam in front of him with the Liam that he had known for the past year. He didn’t think that this holiday would be so quick to unravel the three of them, but here they all were, moments from being completely undone.

Zayn cleared his throat, and Liam spun to the noise with wide eyes. A look of pure and utter relief appeared on his face, though Harry could see that his eyes looked puffy and his bottom lip was swollen. Harry looked to see Zayn’s reaction, and wondered at the soft look on Zayn’s face.

Harry hoped he didn’t look as lovestruck when looking at Louis as Zayn did right now.

“Harry, could you get me some water?” Zayn said, not taking his eyes off Liam, who was frozen in place across the room.

Harry nodded, and went to get the glass of water. He had left his phone in the kitchen, and quickly checked it. His heart skipped a beat as he saw at least five messages from Louis, all detailing how he had gone into town to order food and was failing miserably at communicating. Harry wanted so badly to reply, but he couldn’t. Not now, when Zayn needed him.

He walked back in, water in hand. Liam and Zayn were sitting next to each other, not touching but they were close enough. They both looked up as Harry walked in, and he silently handed Zayn the glass, sitting on the couch opposite them. Harry and Zayn looked at each other, Harry dipping his head slightly, the softest smile on his face.

“Zayn, I’m sorry if I’ve done anything –” Liam began to say, voice soft and filled with pain.

Zayn nearly reached out to put his hand on Liam’s knee. “You’ve done nothing, babe.”

Liam shook his head fervently, distressed. “I shouldn’t have kissed that guy today, I don’t know why I was being so weird about it all.”

Harry felt his heart ache for his two friends, both so submerged in their feelings for each other but not having the right words to say what they needed to say. Zayn looked lost, not quite understanding what Harry could so clearly see Liam was saying. Harry caught Zayn’s eye and nodded encouragingly.

“Liam, love,” Zayn said softly, and Harry almost raised an eyebrow. Zayn never called anyone love. “I hadn’t told you about this because it had never come up. What happened today, it wasn’t because of you. I think it would’ve made me a real jerk if I went and sulked in my room because you kissed someone today.” He paused, wringing his hands together. “I didn’t know how to say it, but I’ve got depression and anxiety, which I take medication for.”

Liam bit his lip, a hand going to his heart. “You know that I wouldn’t judge you about that.”

Zayn smiled slightly at that. “I know. I can’t explain why I didn’t tell you. Maybe it was the shame, and maybe because the last thing I wanted to do was scare you. But I also didn’t want to tell you because I had stopped taking it before we came.”

Understanding flooded Liam’s face. “Oh Zayn, fuck.”

Zayn picked the medication up and took it out. He put two pills in his mouth, swallowing it with a few mouthfuls of water. He put the glass down, hand shaking slightly. “I’m going to stay on them this time. I wanted you two to see me take them, so I would never have an excuse to not take them again.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile as Liam wrapped an arm around his shoulders and brought him in for a hug. He could see the peace on Zayn’s face, something that Harry knew wasn’t quick to appear. He had never demonstrated any desire to be with someone, but Harry could see it now in the tight embrace that they were sharing.

“That was a super brave thing to do Zayn, you should be proud.” Liam said quietly, pulling away but leaving his hand on Zayn’s arm.

Zayn smiled, ducking his head slightly. “You are too nice to me. Both of you.”

Harry scoffed. “We’re exactly the right amount of nice, it’s what you deserve.”

“Agreed,” Liam said. His hand hadn’t left Zayn’s arm. They were both staring into each other’s eyes, and Harry had to turn away.

Harry left the two of them, going back into the kitchen to get his phone. His hands were shaking slightly as he opened the messages from Louis, the grin stretching across his face as he read through the ridiculous story. He started typing, unable to help himself.

_Harry: I’m sure that would have been an adorable sight._

His heart was racing as he pressed send. Maybe it was seeing Zayn and Liam, or maybe it was just his own ache in his chest, but it felt good to even pretend that he could have this. He started to think about what happened if he told Louis, if it would really end that badly. They had a week and a bit left of their holiday, which Harry could reason was plenty of time to get to know someone.

Today had been something out of a wild fantasy. Louis had looked beautiful, which was a given. They had spent most of their time together, and even when they separated they would gravitate back to one another, walking down the beach and discussing everything that tumbled out of their mouths.

The limited time that they had was on Harry’s mind, and he could sense that Louis felt the same. Logically, there was only so much that they could do, and Harry didn’t want to think about what would happened when he went back to London.

_Sunshine: adorable????_

_Sunshine: I made a complete fool out of myself, you dork_

Harry sighed fondly, and quickly covered his mouth. He looked back into the living room, and saw Liam and Zayn talking to each other, but once again it looked so intimate that Harry had to retreat further back into the kitchen, not wanting to intrude.

_Harry: ha, next time I’ll make sure I’m there._

_Sunshine: good. I can’t do it without you, styles_

Harry had to brace himself against the kitchen counter. How was Louis managing to out-flirt him so easily? Surely even with his rusty skills he could put on the charm when he needed to. Harry bit his lip, feeling something fluttering in his stomach at the blatant way this was progressing. It had changed today, and they had both felt it.

_Harry: Well I think we’ve established that you’re just spending your trip with us, so it should no longer be a problem._

_Sunshine: I think the four of us decided on that pretty quick_

_Harry: You’re amazing, what can I say._

_Sunshine: is that sarcasm I detect?_

_Harry: Never._

_Sunshine: fucker. ANYWAY, plans for tomorrow?_

_Harry: I’ll come get you in the morning, we can go for a walk._

_Sunshine: sounds great, are the two lovebirds coming with?_

_Harry: I’m not sure, Zayn’s not feeling great._

_Sunshine: shit is he okay??? you should’ve told me before, I’m stressed_

The sound of Liam’s laughter pierced the quite chattering, and Harry hesitated before replying. It would be up to Zayn to tell Louis his truth, and he wasn’t going to be the one to say it, even if he did trust Louis to not tell.

_Harry: He’s not had a great night, I just think he needs some time at the house with Liam._

_Sunshine: that sucks :( will you give him a hug for me?_

_Harry: Of course._

_Sunshine: good_

_Sunshine: also, you should still come for the walk tomorrow, pretty boy_

_Sunshine: maybe I could come back to yours and we can cook something for us all?_

Harry was about to pass out, his cheeks flushed at the domesticity of those whole conversation. He loved it, more than he could possibly express.

_Harry: That sounds wonderful._

_Sunshine: great! well, I’ve got a song to write, I’ll leave you to it. ten tomorrow?_

_Harry: Write me something that people will remember for the rest of time. Ten is perfect._

_Sunshine: nothing less. goodnight xx_

_Harry: Goodnight, Louis x_

The house had gone quiet. Harry walked back out to find Liam and Zayn had disappeared. Liam’s room was empty, and Harry checked Zayn’s room, frowning when he saw that it too was empty. He sighed and pushed the door open to his room, shoving his phone in his tracksuit pocket.

He nearly jumped when he saw Liam and Zayn sitting on Harry’s bed, with only the lamplight on. They had made themselves comfortable, having changed into their pyjamas and with sleepy smiles on their faces.

“You guys scared me, what are you doing in here?” Harry grumbled, putting his phone on charge and finding his pyjama shorts.

Liam smiled sheepishly at him. “Impromptu sleepover?”

Zayn looked exhausted and weighed down, but there was the tiniest spark in his eye and the smallest smile on his face. “You also have the comfiest bed.”

Harry shook his head, a fond grin on his face. “How do I know that you don’t just want to have a threesome?”

That managed to get a soft laugh out of Zayn. “You don’t know, babe.”

Liam rolled his eyes and stretched his arms above his head. “Zayn, we just had a major breakthrough and you’re still joking about sex?”

Zayn smirked. “Gotta stay true to me.”

Harry got changed and they all got under the blankets, Zayn in the middle. They whispered to each other about stupid things until Harry felt himself drifting to sleep, wondering what Zayn and Liam were continuing to talk about.

When he woke up, he had Zayn spooning him, and the sheets all in a tangled mess around them. Harry lay there and tried his hardest not to wake Zayn. He still had two hours before he was supposed to get up, but all he could think about was seeing Louis. They would go find a market to get fresh produce and laugh as they fumbled through conversation with the locals.

Maybe they would accidentally brush hands as they walked, not saying anything about it but glancing at each other until they were both red and flushed from the intimacy of it all. Maybe it would start raining and they would giggle as they found an archway to hide under, bodies pressed close together, noses only centimetres from touching.

Harry could see a million different versions of what could happen today, and they all were filled with love and a happiness that Harry thought he hadn’t been capable of feeling in years. He didn’t know why he didn’t feel afraid, because he had a lot to be worried about. There weren’t many long-term scenarios that ended well in his mind, all filled with pain and suffering.

Zayn’s grip suddenly tightened around his waist, and Harry had to stifle a smile. He and the people he knew had already been through immeasurable pain, and yet they still strived to find that small moment of happiness. Harry remembered the look on Zayn’s face last night as Liam hugged him.

He picked up his phone, immediately going to the messages that he and Louis had been sending each other. He didn’t know why it had become so easy, nor why it seemed inconceivable that Louis be anywhere but by Harry’s side for the rest of this holiday.

Harry opened the camera and took a photo of himself with Zayn’s sleeping face making a cute appearance. He sent it to Louis, heart racing in his chest, the hope that he was feeling getting rid of any doubt in his mind. Maybe he and Louis would never happen, and maybe at the end of these two weeks, he would never see Louis again.

What did it matter, really? Harry had spent the last five years controlled by someone who only saw him as a source of profit; he could own these two weeks for himself. If he was to experience heartbreak, it was to be on his own terms for once.

He sent the photo to Louis, not caring that it was six in the morning nor the fact that it showed how much he was pining for him. Harry could only think of Louis’ crinkly-eyed smile, and those bright blue eyes that screamed a world of opportunities that Harry could only dream of. He typed a message and pressed send, putting the phone back on his bedside table and closing his eyes. It was going to be a good day.

_Harry: I can’t wait to see you today x_

_Sunshine: me neither, pretty boy_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my I am so sorry for the late upload!! I've gone back to working two jobs and going to uni, I'm exhausted honestly :( uploads might not be weekly for the next two months, but I'm going to try my best!
> 
> this isn't my best chapter, but I think it was a necessary step before we move on to other things in story. I'd love to know what you guys think, if you don't want to comment here, you can come talk to me on tumblr: @harry20gayteen
> 
> I hope you all have the most wonderful day <3
> 
> all the love, Sara xx


	9. otto - la pesca

The walk from the villa to Louis’ place took Harry approximately twenty minutes, although he was expecting it to take much longer. He had brought some reusable cotton shopping bags, all printed with various fruit puns such as _we were made for peach other,_ or _these are berry bad fruit puns._ He had tied his hair into a messy bun and had changed his outfit ten million times before leaving the house.

He had settled on a more athletic look, with dark green running shorts with a loose black tee tucked in. Harry had forgotten to bring his sunglasses and had to squint for most of the walk to Louis’ hotel. Unfortunately for him, he was still fifteen minutes early, and he wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself; he had stolen the portable internet from Zayn’s room and hesitated to message Louis.

_Harry: I’m here a little early, I’m sorry._

_Sunshine: come up then_

Harry swallowed loudly and looked determinedly at the blue building. He wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted out of his time with Louis today; Harry had been flirting shamelessly even though he shouldn’t be, but Louis was reciprocating, and he was already in too deep. He had even spent hours rereading his contract with Andrew, wondering if there was some loophole, something that meant he could end it all.

The contract had an expiry date, but it was a year away and as Harry was walking into the hotel, he was pretty sure he couldn’t wait any longer.

He had plastered on his most wonderful and kind smile and spoke quickly with the lady at the front desk about wanting to see his most dear friend Louis. She was speaking Italian way too quickly for Harry to understand anything, but he laughed charmingly when needed and nodded pensively when it was appropriate. She finally told him his room number, and Harry thanked her gracefully, feeling a little winded by the whole conversation.

As he was climbing the stairs to Louis’ room, Harry could barely keep the giddy smile off his face. He was pretty sure that nothing could ruin how happy he was feeling right now.

Harry barely had to knock before Louis flung the door open, the biggest smile on his face. “You took your time, pretty boy.”

“I got a little caught up downstairs.” Harry said, unable to move.

Louis laughed, face-palming. “I’m not surprised, she’s super nice but chatty, have no idea what she’s saying half the time.” He paused, looking at the frozen Harry in the doorway. “Come in you goose, I’m nearly ready.”

Harry felt himself turning red, a goofy smile on his face. “Right, yeah, sorry.”

Louis walked over to the mirror, frowning as he ran his hands through his hair. Harry closed the door behind him, and slowly walked around Louis’ small room, looking at the clothes that were strewn across an armchair and Louis’ half-made bed. He went to the window, looking out and admiring the view.

“How’s Zayn doing today?”

Harry turned and felt the breath leave his body once again. Louis looked so soft, with his carefully styled fringe and the scruff on his cheeks that was becoming more prominent as the days passed. He audibly swallowed to the stop the dryness in his throat.

“He’s okay, he and Liam were still sleeping when I got up.” Harry said, noting the visible concern on Louis’ face.

“Is it okay if I come over later? I don’t want to intrude.” Louis said, having suddenly turned shy. He was fiddling with a leather bracelet that Harry hadn’t seen him wearing before.

Harry couldn’t have been more endeared.

“Zayn would love to have you, Lou,” Harry said softly, smiling. “He probably needs to be distracted more than anything, and you’re a pretty good distraction.”

Louis smiled, ducking his head slightly. “So, I’m distracting, huh?”

The cheeky lilt to Louis’ tone and the coy look that he was giving Harry was enough to make his knees go weak. “Maybe just a little.”

There was something between them in that moment. Harry could have walked right over there, and kissed Louis like he had been thinking about doing since the first day they met. He could have said a lot more things about why Louis had been the biggest distraction to Harry in the few days that they had known each other.

“I’m not surprised, I am pretty attractive,” Louis said jokingly, though Harry felt like he could see right through him. “Anyway, I’m ready to go, are you?”

Harry grinned. “Let’s go then, sunshine.”

Louis raised an eyebrow at him, the biggest smile on his face. “Sunshine, now?”

Harry shrugged and opened the door. “Couldn’t think of anything that suited you more.”

They walked out of the hotel and towards the market that Harry had looked up last night, trying to think of a place that could potentially be romantic but wouldn’t come off as too strong if things didn’t go well. He had carefully planned it all, and the Italian sun and the glorious fresh breeze on their faces was an added bonus.

The market was everything that Harry could’ve wanted, filled with people calling out their prices in Italian, and laughter as friends caught up over coffee and exchanging frivolous stories that Harry only half understood. Louis was beaming as they made their way through the crowd, Harry pointing out some of the more peculiar stores and they laughed at nothing, only an expression of this moment of unexpected joy.

They had stopped at a stall that had a variety of produce, and Harry pulled the list he had made of his pocket, reading it to the vendor with the most charming smile that he could manage. He could feel Louis watching him, and he stumbled over his words a little bit.

“So, what are we having for lunch today?” Louis asked as Harry paid for the produce, giving the grey-haired vendor a massive smile.

“I’m making parmigiana, it has eggplant, tomato sauce, and cheese, which we need to buy. And maybe we could make a cake.” Harry added it quickly, hoping that Louis maybe would have missed the last part.  

Louis huffed as someone ran into him, jostling him away from Harry. “Did you say _we_? I don’t bake.”

Harry laughed, grabbing Louis’ hand without hesitation, bringing him to his side. “And you think I’m not going to teach you, sunshine?”

Louis looked at him with surprise before a grin stretched across his face. “You sure know how to make a guy feel special, pretty boy.”

Harry could feel his heart in his throat, and Louis’ hand in his was not helping with any of it. It had been years since he had felt this giddy, and seeing that Louis seemed to be _beaming_ with happiness only reassured Harry that he had to feel the same.

“Only for you,” Harry said quietly.

It felt like time had paused, the noisiness around them only a murmur, insignificant when compared to the blue of Louis’ eyes or his red lips which were spread into a wide smile. They were only centimetres apart, Louis having moved to stand in front of him. Harry could feel his mind fixating on Louis’ hand in his, but there was so much more to take in.

“Never thought that you’d be this smooth,” Louis replied, his voice breaking slightly.

He could have thrown his whole career away. He could have kissed Louis in that crowded square. But he saw someone with a phone out and he couldn’t have known if they were taking pictures of him, but the paranoia and fear was starting to bloom in his stomach.

“Are you okay?” Louis asked, the smile disappearing and replaced with a frown.

Harry let out a shaky breath. “I just, I don’t know if I can do this, where people can see.” Harry near stuttered, hating every word of it, hating how it sounded like an excuse.

Louis looked at him, a complicated look on his face. “What…” He paused, clearing his throat. “What can I do to help you?”

Harry looked around him, and slowly let go of his hand. “Do you trust me? That I’ll explain this to you later?”

“Of course,” Louis said it without hesitation, a soft smile on his face. “I trust you much more than someone who’s known you for five days should.”

They both laughed, maybe to shake off the seriousness of the moment, or in Harry’s case, to feel the tension slip out of his body at knowing that Louis had his back. As they walked around the market and bought the rest of the ingredients for their lunch, Harry could only marvel at how lucky he was.

As Harry was buying cheese from a stall that had way too many types of cheese to choose from, he saw that Louis had wandered over to a stall that was run by two younger girls, perhaps only ten years old. They had three baskets of peaches, and looked bored beyond relief, but their faces lit up as they realised that Louis was coming to visit their stall. They started talking very quickly in Italian to Louis, who was trying to use hands to tell them to slow down.

“Otto euro per il formaggio , signore,” Harry was brought back to reality by the cheese vendor, and he quickly gave him the money with his usual charm.

“Grazie mille, signore.” Harry said, grabbing the cheese and walking over to Louis.

He was laughing as the girls showed him different peaches, shoving them into his hands. Louis looked to Harry with wide eyes, and Harry had to supress the laughter that was threatening to burst out of him.

“A little help?” Louis said, trying to hand some of the peaches.

Harry put his hands on his hips, grinning. “You’re doing great, sunshine.”

Louis groaned. “Don’t be a dick, distract them with your beauty or something.”

“I think you’re already distracting them,” Harry said gleefully. “But here, I’ve got it.”

Harry came over to Louis’ side, and the two girls immediately tried to ladle peaches in his arms. “Signore, puo comprare queste pesce?”

“Se compro tutte le pesce, potete andare a casa?” Harry asked, squatting down so he was eye to eye with them.

Their eyes lit up, and the taller of the two girls nodded vigorously. Harry pulled his wallet out of his pocket, and took out all the cash he had, pressing it into the taller girl’s small hand. “Andate a casa, e dai i soldi ai tuoi genitori, va bene?”

“Benissimo, signore! Grazie mille!” The taller girl near yelled, giving Harry a quick hug before running off with the other girl.

Louis looked at Harry, his arms still filled with peaches. “What just happened?”

Harry gestured bashfully at the other two baskets of peaches. “I bought all these peaches.”

Louis blinked at Harry for a moment before that heart stopping smile appeared on his face. “Oh my god Harry, how much money did you give them?”

His cheeks felt like they were burning. “Um, all of it?”

The laugh that came out of Louis made Harry’s knees go weak. “You’re actually a dork, I can’t believe you! What are we going to do with all these peaches?”

“Well, we’re making a peach cake then.” Harry said, grabbing one of the baskets and fitting it under his arm.

“What is this holiday, you’re a right nutter, Harry Styles.” Louis said, still laughing as he grabbed the other two baskets.

“But you know you love it.” Harry teased, nearly dropping the peach basket.

Louis rolled his eyes, but that smile on his face looked way too fond for Harry to think that he was actually judging him.

“Come on pretty boy, lets get you and these peaches back home.” Louis said, bumping his hip against Harry’s as he walked past, a cheeky smile on his face.

“Home,” Harry said quietly to himself, pausing as he looked as his small piece of sunshine walked into the crowd, shining brighter than anyone else there. Harry went after him, a part of him knowing that he would follow this man everywhere.

_Home._

………….

The walk back to the house was filled with continual conversation and laughter. They talked about their families, and Louis couldn’t stop the feeling of complete adoration for the man he was talking to. It wasn’t often that he met someone who could be endearing, awkward, kind, and extremely charming, but Harry seemed to have it all, even if it jumbled together and didn’t make sense at times.

It was hard to not slip into a familiar way of talking, but it was easy for Louis to talk about his siblings as if Harry would meet them, or to quietly remark on how great Harry’s mum sounded. As they struggled with the peaches, Harry asked Louis to tell him crazy stories from his childhood, and Louis obliged, loving the way that Harry’s face lit up when he spoke of his mischievousness.

Louis tried not to think too much about the moment in the square. He had been in half a mind to get upset, to tell Harry that he didn’t care what he had to say. But Louis cared immensely, and he knew that it all wasn’t as simple as Harry not being into Louis.

He was pretty sure that wasn’t the case.

“Oh fuck, is that where you’re staying?” Louis asked breathlessly, looking at the massive villa that was coming up ahead of them.

Harry looked extremely sheepish as he readjusted the grocery bags in his hands. “Uh yeah, Zayn thought it was nice and um yeah.”

Louis whistled appreciatively. “I forgot that you have a shit tonne of money.”

“Because I’m so humble and unassuming?” Harry said, struggling to get his keys out of his pant pockets.

Louis laughed loudly, seeing Zayn and Liam waiting for them at the front door. “No, you’re just an idiot.”

“Hey, no fair.” Harry grumbled, but he was trying not to smile.

As they got closer to the villa, Louis couldn’t help but look at Zayn; he saw how exhausted he seemed to look, looking so much smaller than he remembered him to be. He wasn’t leaning on Liam, but Louis noticed how Liam’s hand rested on Zayn’s waist, a gesture so intimate that he almost felt a little jealous.

Almost.

“What are you doing with all those peaches, Harry?” Liam asked incredulously, moving out of the doorway to help Harry with a basket that was about to slip out of his hands.

“He was being a good Samaritan, like usual,” Louis said before Harry could open his mouth. Harry gave him a dazzling smile.

Liam smiled brightly at Louis. “Glad to have you here, Louis. We missed your company.”

Louis felt himself blushing at the compliment, giddy. “Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, lad.”

“Let’s get our guest inside, and then I seriously need to know about those peaches,” Zayn said, voice cracking slightly but a small smile on his face.

Harry gestured for Louis to proceed. “After you.”

Louis walked into the villa, trying not to show how shocked he was at the beauty of it all. The living room was the size of his apartment, and after putting the peaches down (his arms were aching), he gravitated towards the large doors that led to the balcony. He nearly gasped as he walked out, seeing how breath-taking Positano looked from up here, the sea sparkling in the midday sun.

“It’s nice out here, huh?”

Louis turned, smiling at Harry who still looked a little sheepish. “It’s incredible.”

Harry came and stood next him, leaning on the railing as he looked out. “Isn’t it weird to think that people live here and see this every day?”

Louis laughed. “Maybe they’ve gotten used to it.”

Harry looked so serious, as if he was trying to piece together the meaning of the whole world inside his mind. Louis just wanted to reach out and gently put his hand to Harry’s face, to reassure him that everything would be okay, if it wasn’t. He thought about the way Harry had looked at him in the square.

“I promise I haven’t forgotten what I said I would tell you,” Harry said quietly.

Louis felt a shiver run through him. “Harry –”

“Harry, stopping hogging Louis and bring him in here!”

Harry rolled his eyes, the previous seriousness slipping away like it had never been there. “Fine, we’re coming in now!”

They walked back in, Zayn standing in the middle of the living room while Liam moved the peaches to what looked like the kitchen. His gaze was flickering between Harry and Louis, an eyebrow raised into a perfect arch. He walked up to Louis, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug.

“Glad to have your perfect ass back in my line of vision, babe.” Zayn said smoothly, and Louis smirked in return.

“I missed you flirting with me, you pretty thing,” Louis said teasingly, taking Zayn in once again. God, he looked so small, none of his previous confidence anywhere to be seen. Even his flirting sounded off, a feeble attempt at being something else.

“Zayn, stop flirting with Louis.” Liam called cheerfully from the kitchen.

Louis marvelled at the soft smile that came onto Zayn’s face. “Only because you asked so nicely.”

“Since you two have stopped flirting, I’m going to get started in the kitchen, otherwise lunch will take ten million years.” Harry said in a huff, Louis watching in surprise as he almost stomped into the kitchen.

Zayn sighed. “I forgot how jealous he gets.”

Liam came out into the living room, eyes wide. “I feel like Harry’s going to murder someone in there.”

Louis couldn’t help it; he was a little endeared that Harry had gotten worked up over meaningless flirting between him and Zayn. He bit his lip, trying to hide his smile. “I might have to go in there.” Louis said, wincing as he heard a pot fall to the ground. “Are you okay in there, pretty boy?”

There was a moment of silence. “Yes, I’m fine.”

Liam rolled his eyes, sitting down on the couch. “Anyway, let’s ignore the drama queen in the kitchen, sit down Louis! Make yourself comfortable.”

Louis sat down, glad to have the couch under him. His legs and arms were aching from carrying all the peaches, but he wouldn’t have given up that time with Harry for anything in the world. Zayn sat down beside Liam, Louis noticing how Liam casually pressed his knee into Zayn’s, nothing that would seem discernible unless someone was looking for it.

Louis had spent years trying to read people, and it was coming in handy.

“How have you lads been? You all good?” Louis asked, trying to keep his eyes from wandering to the kitchen.

Liam’s eyes immediately went to Zayn, who smiled softly and looked at Louis with tired eyes. “M’not gonna lie, I’ve been better babe.”

Louis bit his lip, leaning forward. “You don’t have to talk about it, Zayn.”

“If Harry trusts you, then I do,” Zayn said quietly, playing with a ring on one of his fingers. “It’s not anything serious, I’ve just been feeling depressed, I stopped taking my medication, so it messed me up a little.”

He could almost feel his heart breaking in his chest. “Oh love.” Louis could barely get the words out. “Is there anything I can help with?”

Zayn smiled, shaking his head. “You have a heart of gold babe, but there’s nothing you can do.”

Liam’s eyes were glued to Zayn’s face, and Louis couldn’t help but wonder what that felt like. He had been single a long time, and it seemed like the only hope that he had of a boyfriend was in the kitchen whistling to himself. Louis put his hand to his chest, over his heart. “Thank you for telling me, that must have been hard for you to say.”

Zayn shrugged, eyes darting to Liam, whose concern was still clear on his face. “It was, but it needed to be done.” He sighed, smirking as he regarded Liam staring into his soul. “You right there, babe?”

Liam turned red but didn’t look away. “Shut up, I can look at you if I want.”

Louis smiled cheekily. “Feels like I can cut the sexual tension in here with a knife,” He said, watching as Liam’s eyes went wide and Zayn let out a cackling laugh.

“Louis don’t encourage him!” Liam whined, fighting to stop his smile as Zayn put his arm around Liam’s shoulders, drawing him closer.

“Only a matter of time, I think.” Zayn cooed.

Harry walked out of the kitchen with his hands on his hips. Louis felt completely endeared by the confused frown on his face, his pink lips set into a pretty pout. He had changed significantly from when Louis had first met him, and he could barely begin to comprehend the man in front of him.

But Louis was pretty determined to find out.

“Zayn stop harassing Liam, please.” Harry said.

“Yes mum,” Zayn said mockingly. “And I think Liam doesn’t mind this at all.”

The red was creeping down Liam’s neck. “Leave me out of this.”

Harry looked at Louis, rolling his eyes. “Did you want to come and help me in the kitchen?”

Louis grinned. “Love to.”

“Hey, wait a second, I still want to know about the peaches!” Zayn said, Louis noting how he was circling patterns into Liam’s arm with his fingers.

Liam laughed, a little breathily. “Yes, please, I want to know.”

Zayn’s eyes narrowed as he looked between Harry and Louis. “Dear god, you weren’t going to try and recreate that Call Me by Your Name scene, were you?”

Louis nearly fell off the couch. “Zayn, _oh my god no!_ ”

Harry looked even more confused than before. “What scene are you talking about?” He said, watching as Louis tried to hide how embarrassed he was.

Zayn’s eyes were glittering with mischief. “Come here, I’ll show you.”

There was an awkward few minutes as Harry watched the scene on Zayn’s phone, Liam struggling to breathe as he howled with laughter, and Louis hiding his face in his hands. The video ended, and Louis saw how completely flustered Harry was. Louis was trying to not think about how hot he looked, but it was very distracting and it didn’t help that he had heard everything that had happened in the scene.

“Zayn Javadd Malik, why the actual fuck would I want to recreate this?” Harry managed to say, his voice sounding like a strangled cat.

“You seem like you’re into kinky shit, I don’t know – _ouch,_ don’t hit me!”

Louis watched as Zayn and Harry wrestled for a moment, Liam having gotten up to calm himself down. “The look on your face, Harry, I can’t!” Liam wheezed, bending over as he continued to laugh.

“What, did you think Louis and I were going to recreate that with all these peaches?” Harry said as he got off the couch, his bun in a complete mess, half of it having fallen out. Louis was trying to figure out if he was able to die from embarrassment.

Zayn raised an eyebrow. “I never said I was talking about you and Louis.”

Harry looked at Louis, and Louis was pretty sure that he had never seen someone look more mortified. “Oh, yes, yes you did, I remember you saying it –” He was rambling now.

“Harry you idiot stop making me laugh!” Liam said, another wave of laughter taking over him.

“I’m sorry Louis, I didn’t mean to suggest anything,” Harry said immediately, almost walking over to Louis before deciding against it.

Louis was already smiling, his own embarrassment forgotten. “It’s fine pretty boy, don’t stress.”

Harry nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “Anyway, come help me in the kitchen?”

“Go, I have to make sure Liam doesn’t have a heart attack, he’s too young and pretty to not be alive.” Zayn said, getting up and going over to Liam who was laughing on the floor.

Louis followed Harry into the kitchen, trying to overcome the random shyness he was feeling. It wasn’t like Louis hadn’t thought of Harry in a romantic way, but so much had happened today, and his mind was racing from every little interaction. They almost kissed in the middle of the square. It hadn’t just been in Louis’ head.

Harry had retied his hair and started cutting up eggplants, the kitchen looking meticulous. He looked nervous, his body stiff and having lost its relaxed demeanour. “Sorry about Zayn, that was extremely embarrassing.” He said quietly.

“You don’t have to apologise,” Louis said, leaning back against the counters and admiring the beautiful man in front of him. “It was hilarious to see you turn red so fast, though.”

Harry glared at him, but he was trying not to laugh, and he looked like a puppy. “Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side, especially now that it’s just you and me in here.” He said, picking up a knife and waving it around dramatically.

“Imagine the headline, ‘British male killed by superstar Harry Styles in million-dollar villa in Italy’.” Louis said, Harry laughing loudly and shaking his head.

“I don’t think I could hurt you, I’d miss your pretty face too much.” Harry said it coyly, and Louis could feel that there was _something_ between them, something that could turn into a whole lot more, if they wanted it to.

Louis grabbed a peach, and a knife from a drawer. He could feel Harry’s eyes on him as he slowly cut the peach into pieces. He almost didn’t care that what he was about to do was flirty beyond belief, but he wanted to see how Harry would react, if he would turn Louis down, like he had been fearing. Louis put a piece into his mouth, chewing slowly before swallowing.

“Come here, pretty boy,” Louis said, smiling at the careful way Harry stepped towards him, having put the knife down. They were only inches away, as close as they had been in the square. Louis held a peach slice up to Harry’s lips, trying not to betray how his heart was in his throat. “Open up.”

He could see Harry swallow, he could see the uncertainty in his face. But there was something else there, something in his eyes that gave it all away. Harry opened his mouth, Louis gently putting the peach on his tongue, trying not to think about how he wanted this to be so much more than it was.

It wasn’t as sexual as another peach scene that had been brought up earlier, but Louis could never look at a peach without thinking of this exact moment. It was a moment that only they shared, their bodies nearly pressed together, faces inches apart.

Louis could have stayed there for days, looking into Harry’s eyes. He was monumentally screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY! if anyone is still reading this, I love you and thank you for the support!! I want to try and finish this by the end of the year, I think I'm going to make it much shorter than originally planned because I'm losing inspiration and that makes me stressed.
> 
> I hope you guys like this chapter, let me know what you think and come talk to me on tumblr! @harry20gayteen
> 
> Love you all,
> 
> Sara xx


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